Anyone who has been reading the blog lately has probably noticed that I've been going through some "stuff" lately.  Yes, some of this "stuff" has to do with suddenly being insanely busy in real life, but mostly this "stuff" has been caused by the evacuation from Providence, the failure of Paxton and the subsequent move up north to RAGE.  Change causes stress which in turn causes us to question our place in the universal sandbox.  That is what I have been doing.  Asking questions of myself.  As I mentioned a few days ago, the answers were not always what I expected them to be.

My playing of Eve is probably a bit stranger than normal.  On the one hand, I am on a lot.  And in this way Eve acts as an almost constant background to other activities.  On the other hand, my playing time is usually very short.  Maybe an hour or so a day, if that.  Sometimes I can manage a few hours here and there, but that's unusual.  So I'm on 8-14 hours a day, but I'm actually playing maybe 1 hour a day on average.

In Providence, when the bad guys are right next door, this playing style allows for lots of action.  When the bad guys are 37 jumps away, this playing style allows for lots of boredom.  Especially if the time zone factor comes into play, you know the one, you just missed the gang but we're only 19 jumps away.  Or, the gang will be leaving about an hour after you log off.  That is the situation I found in RAGE space.  I moved thinking it might be like that and it was, but I gave it some time, formed up some of my own gangs and went roaming... and found nothing.  Cause the bad guys are far away.  Which is fine.  That is the NC.  Lots of people might like that.  But it isn't for me.  I need a hotspot.

I've made the decision to leave M3.  This was not an easy decision, because I truly liked the corporation, the members and everyone in it.  I had a great time defending Providence with them and I appreciate everything they stand for and believe in.  Great people, can't recommend them enough.  But RAGE, the North, 37 jumps to fight (or more), is not for me.  I just can't do it.  It is as simple as that.

But change and reflection also bring opportunity.  As I've said before, every black cloud has a silver lining.  This week I've also asked myself to think about the best times that I've had in Eve during my career.  Where was I the happiest, when and where did that happen?  And what can I do to bring it back.  Those that look at my employment history and see a long list are missing out on the core thread that ties everything together... loyalty.  Strange to mention loyalty when I've been in so many corps?  Not really, if you look beyond the list at what the list represents.  Providence was the common thread.  But Providence, at least the one I'm talking about, is dead.

Ahh, but there is that question again.  And the answer is the same one it has been since January.  Every change since then has started with my former corp mates in Dissonance.  I was in DION longer than I've been in any other corp, over six months.  I joined when they were in Providence, the only reason I left my previous corp was because they were leaving Provi, and stayed with them through the move to Insmother.  Why did I leave in January?  Mostly because I felt that I needed to return to LFA and help with the invasion of Catch.  Loyalty is a complicated thing and it takes many forms.  After LFA fell I tried to find a new place, but once again the siren song of Providence called me.  Paxton was making one last stand and I felt like I had to give it another shot.

And so now DION finds itself surrounded deep in zero space and even better, Goons are involved!  Can Rixx pass up the chance to not only return, but to fight Goons?  Of course not.  I fly towards the action, not away from it.

So I'm moving once again.  But this time, I hope, for the last time.  At least for a long, long time.

Thanks to all those that offered or suggested places for me over the past few days.  I am humbled by your generosity.  And I deeply appreciate each of you.  Especially Nassh, who is a stand-up guy even though he is a pirate.

One door closes just as another door opens.