<--- not that frustrated.

But close.  Real Life has been a bear the last two months, not to share my current pains with anyone but it has been.  'Nuff said.  This happens from time to time and while this particular time is worse than any others since I've been playing Eve, it happens.  I'm not one of those people that needs perspective about where this game fits within reality.  But, and there is always a but, this also happens to coincide with two months of protracted Sov warfare in Impass.  This is not a good combination.

Sov War is a grind.  Granted we all know this.  There are constant fleets, reds in your systems, station camps, iHubs in reinforce, POS Bashes, the list is long and these fleets all take time and commitment.  This can be draining even during normal circumstances.  Add to that the extended amount of time this one is taking, over two months now, and the fact that I seldom have the amount of time needed to participate in any fleets - and you begin to get a sense of my frustrations.

The last ship I killed was over a month ago and that was a whore job.  The last really good string of kills was back in September.  That is a long time.  Which is one of the reasons I decided to hold the Hunt For Rixx Javix just to stir things up a bit.  Which only resulted in losing two Hurricanes, stranding a Dramiel in Rens, and losing about 600m isk.  That wasn't a very good solution.

These are my whoas, and I'm not asking for sympathy or anything.  If I'm going to have a blog about Eve I figure I should be as honest and open about the experience as possible.  I certainly try to lean towards the fun and entertaining, but sometimes it helps to just write these things out.

Yesterday when I got podded back down to Impass I notice our station is in reinforce.  This is the icing on the cake.  Because that means that once again there is no apparent end in sight.  And this is the beginning of my frustrations.  The rest comes with the job and I can deal with that stuff easily.  But thinking about this war dragging on for another month or two or three?  That begins to wear me down.  Why?  Because I can't really participate the way I should be, I should be helping, I should be fighting and joining fleets and killing bad guys.  But I can't right now.  To me, a soldier in both intent and purpose, that is the most frustrating thing of all.

So for now I continue plugging away and hoping that things, both in-game and out, get better soon.  

Keep the courage.