Culture of Apologists

This is just a mini-post, one family funeral today and one tomorrow. But something has been rattling around in my head and I thought this might be the place to mention it out loud.

Open recruitment, few rules, relaxed atmosphere, undock and fight mentality, certainly Stay Frosty isn't like many other corporations. And during the last month or so I've talked to well over 100 players interested in joining and trying this new thing out for themselves. Most don't believe it at first, or have their doubts. Which is natural and understandable. That isn't the surprising part, this is after all Eve.

The other common thread, which I have found rather surprising, has been the apologies. This isn't a criticism of any one player, but rather the odd position that Eve has put so many people into that they feel it incumbent upon themselves to apologize for things beyond their control.

"Sorry, but I don't play as much as I should."  "I'm sorry, but I'm changing jobs and won't be on much in the next month."  "My apologies, I can't be on comms right now, the baby needs feeding."  "Apologies, I'm attending E3 and won't be very helpful this week." ( I'm making these up btw, they don't relate to anyone specifically.) This list could be very long, but I think you get the idea.

What is it about our beloved game that instills such need? The players are not wrong, so what are they actually sorry about? That they have real lives?

Is this a result of the culture that Eve has established over the last decade? A culture of responsibility, of CTAs and alarm-clock ops, of organized roams and established roles? If so, I sincerely worry about the long-term viability of such a culture. The need to apologize for something beyond your control, while on an individual basis is certainly understandable, on a wide-spread basis it is rather troublesome.

Many people say RL > Eve, but do they really mean it? Obviously not based on the feedback I've been getting. And this isn't just an observation based on the last month, but rather one based on the last five years. It is a powerful and often overwhelming problem. I've experienced it myself. I've left corporations, brought down entire Alliances, based simply on changes to my personal circumstances. I know where this feeling stems from.

It is one of the primary reasons I built a "no-apology" corporation. A place where no one ever needs to feel bad that they can't play today, or this week. Or that they have to drop fleet because the baby is awake.

You should want to play Eve because it is fun. Not because you feel you have to.