TOP SEKRIT: SF Spai Reportz
TOP SEKRIT SPAI REPORT ON STAY FROSTY
TOP SEKRIT-YOUR EYES ONLY-PRIORITY ONE
I haz mercilessly infiltrated with sneaky intention the largest independent Pirate corporation in all of New Edenz. Their "open recruitment" policy fools no one. I shall bring them to their knees as soon as I register for their forums and TS. Oh, nice welcoming email. And everyone said "Welcome Aboard" in corp chat... I will not be foiled!!
I sneakily spent the last six days reading all the helpful information on the forums. Muhahahaha. I learned a lot about how to fit my frigate, but the juicy stuff eludes me. Everyone is so trusting and open and... they are FOOLS!!
Another day of jovial corp chat and endlessly undocking in Frigates. It is mind-numbing. I must stay focused on the task at hand. Apparently the big sekrits are not as easily learned as I had hoped. Focus. I have been given the title, "Possible Spai" which everyone thought was rather humorous. If only they knew da truth!!
I have many things to report. The Corp got some POCOs last week and they continue to warp in to kill anyone that tampers with them. But then yesterday they decided that was boring and let them go without a fight. I know this is all part of some larger strategy, but so far the details elude me. No one takes POCOs just for the fights!! I cannot be fooled so easily. No one suspects anything.
Apparently my thirty-day trial period is over and I am now what they call a Frostian? Trusting fools. Now, FINALLY, I have access to their Corp hangars!!! My plan worked as planned. What is this nonsense!?! The hangars are full of free Frigates and everyone dumps their lootz freely for all to take and share!? I am not blind, the leadership must be siphoning off the best lootz for themselves. So that's it is it? A scheme to pilfer from the corp. Ha!
Today our idiot CEO undocked a BS into a seven man gate camp just to save a corp member's ship! What a fool. He even had the audacity to laugh about it in corp chat. I am not so blind, he must be using some kind of complicated insurance scheme or something. I WILL get to the bottom of this insanity.
Today I lost a Hulk in hi-sec on purpose!! I did this to get some righteous anger from the Corp and see their true colors. But no one said anything. I even posted the kill link in Corp chat! It is as if they don't care about their own killboard. But then one of the Directors invited me to corp chat. My moment had come, I had to play this cool and level-headed. The Director proceeded to say he was sorry for my loss, gave me some lame advice about using the d-scanner and staying aligned, and then gave me 5 million ISK to help replace my loss!! Muhahahaha! I see right thru you dood.
My loot was "supposedly" recovered and returned to me in station. Ha! I don't buy that for a second.
I remain immune to the friendly nature of this corporation. I am not an idiot, I see right thru the happy crap. I don't have long to file today, we are having a huge party in the Stay Frosty Bar tonight. All drinks are free. (Yeah right!) But I must not be late. To spai of course.
I have learned a lot about how to fly ships, how to keel other ships, but I have learned NOTHING about sekrits!!!
DAY ONE-HUNDRED TWO
The corp has a lot of carriers. A bunch of dreads. Any number of JFs. The rumor is we even have an Erebus tucked away somewhere. What else can I tell you?
DAY ONE-HUNDRED THREE
I got your orders. So I asked for a fully-fitted Logistics ship earlier and they just handed me one. What does this prove?!?
DAY ONE-HUNDRED FOUR
Ok, so you want me to give up and just steal from the Corp hangar? But if I leave on good terms I can come back anytime I want! I see. Yes, I am a merciless spai. I know.
DAY ONE-HUNDRED FIVE
If I do this now I'll miss out on the NEO Tournament!!
DAY ONE-HUNDRED SIX
I did it. Are you happy now!? Yeah, emptied the whole thing. I got almost five of every Frigate and a shit-ton of T1 mods, WCS, and ammo. I'm guessing the total haul at about 155m ISK. And you're so right, this will show them the error of their ways. Yep, you can't trust anyone in Eve. Woot.
Yeah, yeah. I'll join Brave Newbies next.