The Eve Alphabet

A is for Astero

This little Frigate does it all, but most pilots use it to hide and avoid trouble. Which is a shame, because this Frigate can bring the hurt when properly fitted. Plus, it is fun to fly. It ain't cheap though, so that's a problem. We don't like problems. Already with the problems!

B is for Black Ops

One minute you are minding your own business and the next you are completely surrounded by a huge fleet of nasty ships with no hope of escape? That is the fun result of a Black Op, which isn't that much fun on your end. You really need to lighten up. And get some friends.

C is for CCP

They live in Iceland. On purpose! Yep, a bunch of Vikings developed Eve and that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about this dark, foreboding, harsh and incredibly awesome universe. They are all really nice people though.

D is for DPS

Damage Per Second. It sounds complicated, but it is the ultimate decision maker for life and death fights in New Eden. Either deal it or take it, the outcome surely depends on how much you can do both. Deal with it. And train those skills. D could have been for Drake, but no one really flies that thing anymore.

E is for ECM

Electronic Counter Measures. If that sounds like a mouth-full of letters, it is! It is also horribly dishonorable when someone uses it against your ship. Not so much when you use it against someone else's ship. You have every right to rail about that in local, so feel free.

F is for Falcon

ECM is so bad it gets two Alphabet mentions! The Falcon is the king of dishonor and seeing one in the gang of ships attacking you, pretty much assures that you will die... because of Falcon. Falcon is evil. Remember that. F is really for Frigate, but I'm so mad about Falcon! (lol)

G is for Gate

You can't get anywhere without jumping thru a Gate of one kind or another. Which also means G is for Game Mechanics, which is what you should learn in order to deal with Gates. Star Gates, Plex Gates, Station Gates, Wormhole gates, gates, gates, gates. And no, no one knows how they work. The best theory involves a demon that lives inside each one. Later tonight, there will be a blood-letting.

H is for Hurricane

The bestest overall ship in all of Eve, the Hurricane is a medium sized ship with a big heart. And while it is made by the Minmatar, it seems to hang together despite the rust. Extremely customizable, the Hurricane is just really good at what it does. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I is for ISK

ISK! Its a gas, grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. New ship, faction mods, four stabs, day-dream, think I'll buy me a Tourney Team! But if you ask for a rise, its no surprise, they're giving none away. Away. Away. Awwwaayyy.

J is for Justice!

You thought it was gonna be for Jaguar didn't you? But no, it isn't!! It stands for the one thing you cannot have in Eve - Justice! It doesn't exist, you can't buy it, sell it, or otherwise ever expect it to happen. All you can do is wait. And hope. And scheme. Some plotting might also help.

K is for Killing

Billions of people are slaughtered every day in New Eden. It is genocide on a grand scale. Luckily there seem to be an unending supply of more people to take their place. When you think about it, the universe must be full of love! Love makes children, and more children grow up into more crew members! Who fall in love and make more crew members. So really, Eve is all about Love.

L is for Low Sec

The area of New Eden that no one pays any attention to, that no one really understands, that has no impact on the Meta Game (whatever that is) and that is populated by people that consider Eve a game. So sad. Poor Low Sec.

M is for Mittani

When you luck into one of the biggest events in Eve history your head becomes so large it blots out an entire side of the map. But really, could the letter M stand for anything else? Love him or loathe the very earth upon which he strides, you gotta admit his head is rather small in reality. Tiny little dood. Strange.

N is for Null Sec

The area of New Eden where real men play a real game with real rewards and real... uh, dangers. Cause it is full of cut-throat independent Alliances each striving to control a well-distributed and balanced array of rich moons, belts and mission hubs. What do you mean? It isn't like that at all? Well goddamn.

O is for Officer Mods

For those poor souls who, for no good reason, decide to throw caution to the wind and totally fit up their mission running ship with as much bling as humanly possible. God bless them. And please come to Low Sec!

P is for Pirate

Yarr!! I suspect everyone knows how I feel about this letter. IT"S THE BEST!! STAY FROSTY!! Woot.

Q is for Quad Light Beam Lasers

Simply because it is the only thing I could think of that starts with the letter Q. Beam lasers are useless by the way.

R is for Rifter

The most iconic ship in all of Eve, the Rifter is still a great little Frigate that deserves to be flown as often as possible. Don't listen to all the naysayers out there, fit one up and fly it. Good times. You will explode of course. But you'll have fun until then.

S is for Stabs

The last resort of the risk-averse in New Eden. Once proud ships reduced to sporting 3 or 4 or 5 of these damn things, all to avoid PvP in a PvP game. S is also for Sadness.

T is for Technetium

If ISK makes the universe go around, then ISK is in orbit around this stuff. It is the most bestest Moon mineral and makes people in Null Sec do the craziest things to each other. Other than that, I have no clue. I've never owned a Moon before.

U is for Unknown

When it comes right down to it, Eve is all about the mystery of what happens next, what lies beyond that next gate, what will the result be, what is lurking in the dark. Mystery. Unknown. Take an action and watch what happens, it is impossible to predict. CCP doesn't know, we don't know, no one does. So cool.

V is for Vagabond

I don't have anything clever to say about it, but this letter is owned by the Vaga. It is also sorta, kinda owned by the Vexor (the bestest Cruiser!!) and maybe pwned by the Vargur. So many good things start with the letter V. And I'll just stop typing now.

W is for Weapons

Eve has so many awesome weapons! And they make such cool noises when you fire them! It wasn't that long ago that firing a weapon in Eve was an invisible activity. I think we forget how awesome it finally is to have actual modules on our ships and weapon trails. It is such a small thing that added so much to the game! Never forget.

X is for X-Factor

The X-Factor in Eve is you my friend. Eve is a sandbox, you control your own destiny, your own direction, your own impact or lack thereof. You decide. You can literally do whatever you want and no one can tell you boo about it. (Within the expansive confines of the EULA of course) You are the Hero of this story. Well, I am the Hero of this story. But you are a player in it.

Y is for Whimps!

Stop asking so many questions and just undock and see what happens! Sheesh.

Z is for Station Spinners!!

Granted, this Alphabet has broken down a bit at the end here, but that's what always happens when we get to these weird letters at the end. But how can anyone sleep at a time like this!?!

I hope you enjoyed this romp through the Eve Alphabet. It took me a lot longer to write it than I anticipated and I was interrupted six times!!


  1. A is not for ABA? S is not for Stay Frosty? :-(

    1. That seemed a tad self-serving even for me.

    2. never not enough self peen stroking

      I'm trying to come up with a related X... only thing I can come up with is Alliance Tournament X.. same with Y I can't think of anything at all except for Y u wear stab??

      Anyway hope you having a great time not going to fanfest ;-) Just kidding im full of pain too and I almost convinced my partner yesterday how awesome Iceland is so perhaps in the future... hope...hope...... hope

      (boring day ignore me)

    3. Maybe next year. Something catastrophic always seems to happen right before Fanfest, so maybe the whole idea is cursed.

  2. Q for Quafe? (Still not quite sure what its used for though...)

  3. Y for Yurts and Z for ... Zor?
    Anyway X is for XLASB! Two of them!

  4. When composing an alphabetical list, always start from the bottom up. Once you're halfway through the hardest part, you'll know if it was a good idea.

  5. K is for Kurator.
    Remember, always primary.

  6. Maybe YOU can't get anywhere without gates, silly K-space dweller.


Post a Comment