The Sadly Misunderstood Blob

Poor Blob. Such a horrible word that has so often been attached to really horrible ideas. A truly slow moving horror, a truly fat super-villain, cartoon bad-guys, and a long list of equally disturbing images. The Blob is a shapeless, amoral conglomerate of snot, typically up to no good.

All of which it deserves. Lets be honest here, no one stands for The Blob. It is deservedly un-loved, reviled, and considered a bad thing to be avoided. Blob is no fun. Blob is bad. Blob needs to be shunned.

Blob is hard to define, but like most things that are hard to define - we know it when we see it. I don't know what that, that thing in the alleyway is exactly - but I'm pretty goddamn sure its a Blob! Blobs wash up on a beach and we poke it with sticks, no one is gonna touch the darn thing with their hands!! That is just how vile the prospect of a Blob is, we can't even bring ourselves to touch it.

In Eve a Blob is also considered a bad thing. Generally it is perceived as any un-equal application of force that is not associated with a Gate or Station. Because those are called Gate and/or Station Camps. Camps are different than Blobs, camps are fun times with your friends out in the woods. Living in tents, getting infested with Chiggers, and usually developing some kind of annoying rash. Camps are camps. Blobs are not camps. Blobs eat camps for breakfast.

Blobs are all about perception. What one person considers a blob another person considers their Mother's mashed potatoes. Which might be horrible and full of lumps, but that doesn't make them a Blob now, does it? No, a Blob is all about perception. Which makes identifying an actual bonafide Blob rather difficult. Out in the wild, Blobs can be hard to classify.

Not only are Blobs subject to perception, they are also extremely situational. One man's Blob is another man's tasty target. A Dramiel might consider three Frigates a Blob, but a small Cruiser fleet might consider three Frigates fair game. And those self-same Frigates might very well consider that Cruiser gang a Blob. It is all so very confusing.

I do not like confusion, so let me try to bring some rational thought to this discussion. First of all, it is extremely important to realize that the classification of anything as a "Blob" always comes from the loser of an engagement. The winners rarely consider what just happened as a "Blob". To a fault, the accusation and classification comes directly from someone that just lost his ship. They are excited, angry, pissed-off, disappointed in themselves (Mom always said they'd never amount to anything!) and frankly, can't be trusted to make accurate statements at that time. So whatever they say has to be taken with a grain of salt.

Let's try to define a Blob. "A Blob is any application of force which contains elements not necessary to the positive outcome of said application." In other words, three Frigates can be relatively sure of winning a fight against a Dramiel, but not assured of winning such a fight. The addition of a Sentinel or a Falcon to that fight assures the Frigates of victory. And such application makes such an attack a Blob. So a Blob becomes any accumulation of force needed to assure victory in an engagement. The victim of a Blob cannot be expected to win. He has to have no chance of winning. Zero chance = Blob.

I avoid all of this by simply never accusing anyone of blobbing me. I get caught with my pants down, so be it. That is on me. I should be a better pilot, smarter than my enemy, more crafty, and better prepared to avoid being slaughtered. I also realize that the "blob" that killed me might have been out looking for bigger prey, in which case they would not be considered a Blob. Only to me, of course. I also know that I will often have ten or so pilots along with me and we attack everything we come across, which can also sometimes be considered a blob. Even though we aren't doing that on purpose.

On purpose. And here it comes, the truth of the matter. While Blobs are situational and rely on a loser's perception, there are times when such a creature is deliberate and purposeful. When there can be no doubt associated with its application. There are those that construct a Blob solely for the intention of assuring victory in a single application of force. Such an assemblage being constructed for one purpose and one purpose only - to avoid risk.

And that my friends is when a spade becomes a spade. That is when you become an amorphous pile of snot, when you purposefully avoid risk by becoming a Blob. Only you might know this about yourself, and that is fine. Because only you have to live with that knowledge.

Character is what you are in the dark.