Those Mysterious State Troopers

They are selfless. Courageous. Dedicated. They live at the edge of danger 24/7. And you, like most of New Eden, probably haven't given them a single thought. And that is just the way they want it.

But look closely at your killmails, and you will see them. They are relentlessly perfect at PvP. They are the elite squadron of Faction Police that guard the Plex Structures, dolling out tiny bits of damage to offenders and ruining the otherwise spotless solo attacks of pirates.

Little is known about them, where they come from, what kind of training they get, and how they manage to maintain such a spotless record. So, in pure VICE style, we sent our EVEOGANDA Reporter Andrea Cooper to New Caldari to find out more.

New Caldari: Secret Location

The morning mist covers most of this installation, which is appropriate considering the amount of secrecy involved with filming here. For the past six weeks I've been negotiating and bargaining my way thru layers of Caldari bureaucracy, institutional roadblocks, and secrecy in order to to get someone to even admit this place exists. This is the super-secret, and never filmed before, training facilities for the elite Caldari State Troopers.

Now that the mist is rising, you can clearly see the Merlin Simulators rising in the distance. It is an awe-inspiring sight, but sadly filming and photography have been banned as part of our negotiations. Our Warden, and constant companion, is Senior Trooper Binks Hardass. In an interesting side-note, our readers may remember the Hardass family, as they are quite the prominent and influential Caldari family. Binks is not a Capsuleer in the traditional sense, but his immortality is just as assured. The remaining details regarding his transformation are strictly off limits to questioning. But I did manage to get him to open up about other subjects.

"I can confirm the popular myth regarding our "red shirts", all Troopers of the State wear a scarlet shirt under our uniforms. This has been a Trooper tradition for as long as anyone can remember. Our Red Shirts symbolize the blood spilled in service to the State. And while the details regarding the origin of this tradition have been lost to time, it is believed that the first Commander, Kirk, may have started the tradition."

When pressed regarding the details of their service, the long hours of solitary vigilance within the wide-flung Faction Structures, the dangers of outlaw space, and the corps spotless military record, Binks became even more open.

"We serve the State."

Indeed, service to the State is voluntary, but even so one if left wondering how much of this strict military existence is left to choice.

"We don't spend a lot of time training on weaponry and offensive tactics." He admitted, "Most of our training revolves around defense, avoidance tactics and low-grade conflict resolutions."

This might start explaining the ability of the Troopers to avoid a single ship loss. But even so, a perfectly spotless record seems beyond imagination. It has long been speculated that all losses are swept under the rug and officially denied by the State. Further speculation revolves around several captured communications transcripts that report to show Troopers contacting known Pirate Corporations with Intel.

"I can't comment on speculation."

I can confirm that the largest building within the installation is dedicated to making and serving the best doughnuts that this reporter has ever tasted. There are several doughnut breaks throughout the day's training regime.

I leave New Caldari a bit wiser than when I arrived, but the State Troopers remain an enigma to me. Those that I met seemed dedicated to the cause, but one wonders at the cost. Is it worth it?

We may never know the real answer. Back to you Rixx.

Thanks Andrea. In other news, the Gurista Trooper Association issued this statement, "Death to Caldari Scum!! We know where you live Coppers!!"


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