Why Go On?

I dunno, I woke up this morning with a serious question on my mind. The echo of some strange dream most likely. The after-thought of a restless sleep, or the under-pinnings of a moral quandary debated by neurons. Regardless, there it was. Right on top of my head. Why do I continue to play Eve?

Why indeed.

It is, after all, a damn good question. And I suspect the gestalt for a much larger introspection of general Eve activities which might include writing in this blog every day, creating arts, tweeting, being socially active, running the coolest Corp in the whole game, and generally being awesome 24/7. It could be part of that.

But I'm going to try and stay focused. Why do I keep playing? The surface answers immediately bubble to the surface, time invested, quality of content, an awesome group of nutters, chaos in general, the expectation of forward progress, the desire to experience what happens next, all of those are valid. And yet, they are truly only side issues when one examines the root.

Perhaps it is more the fact that I can't imagine myself NOT playing Eve? Maybe that is closer to the truth at the moment. My Eve career is finally my own now, and has been for the past two years. So instead of chasing my Son around his game of Eve, I've finally gotten to the point where I am playing my own game of Eve. That is part of it. A huge part. My Eve is much more settled and rarely steps to the beat of a random, "Why don't we move to the other side of the Universe" moment. Moments which defined the first years of the game for me. (If you don't know already, pretty much every decision I made up to and including joining Tuskers, was made because that is what my Son wanted to do. I pretty much just followed him around, with a few exceptions here and there, for the first three years. He stopped playing Eve, for the most part, shortly after that.)

As an extension of that thought, Eve is finally something of my own. The ideas, challenges, lessons and experience of those first four plus years finally coming to fruition in the form of Stay Frosty and A Band Apart. Every moment, every lesson, every experience having formed a massive ball of ideas unleashed upon a manifestation of sheer joy. Which is pretty much how I see the birth of Stay Frosty. Other people may have seen "drama", but I only saw destiny. Two sides of a fence. One man sees the future and the other sees a highway cutting thru his family farm.

Ultimately however, these are only expressions of the core. The core remains intact. I inhabit my first day experience. I own the fear of flying thru Null that first time, of wondering when and how those "reds" would kill me. The sheer joy of jumping thru a gate for the first time and anticipating what was on the other side. Of bumping a Titan. All those things I have done, the wars, the fights, the camps, the cloaking, the sneaking, the threats, the challenges, wins, losses, all of it. I own it all. It is me. And it continues to drive me each and every day.

This is why I cannot stop. To stop would be to kill all of that. To regulate it all to the dust bin of time. I am the only living memory of those moments. Without me, they will vanish. Gone. Forgotten.

But that isn't why I keep playing. I keep playing to make more. To see what is on the other side of that gate. To find out what is next. To experience the next thing. To do so with my friends. And to continue to challenge myself, my character, and my play-style. I feel as if I've only started scratching the surface of a much deeper and more profound experience.

That is why I keep playing.

Which is just nuts frankly.



6 comments:

  1. Frankly, you are nuts.

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    1. I played as a nice guy in what I saw as a cesspit of hard nuts, and I wanted to define my success as being hard to kill and build up a huge amount of assets, which I achieved, however in the end I decided that I wanted to setup in crap NPC 0.0 space and build a small coalition and there I met an old NCDOT player who account shared and afk cloaked every single system I could operate in and at this point, I decided that there was no way I could defeat that, in one simple exposure I could see that while I could actually operate there around his sleep patterns and the fact he did not login his cloaky campers until 3 hours after DT he destroyed any chance of building something there, and if you could not do that then there was for me only hisec and lowsec. For me it was the end, I had met all of my goals apart from building something and that could not get past certain issues with the game so I quit.

      Dracvlad

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  2. EVE is still challenging and there are so many things I haven't done yet. How can I quit unless I have tried everything to make sure it does or does not appeal to me? No quitting until I have 'won' EVE.

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    1. Rather committed at this point, gonna be here till the lights go out I suppose.

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  3. I play for adventures, perhaps that's how I ended up in Stay Frosty after null sec. One night while deep behind hostile lines in an expensive ship I didn't even enjoy using stuck there for hours doing timer fights or logging off and losing the ship I guess I decided those adventures were over everything had become a long drawn out routine.

    I've been in Stay Frosty nearly as long as I was in nul sec it still feels like I spent an eternity there and Stay Frosty still feels like I only just joined even months later. It's a strange feeling I'm not sure what it means but I think I'll log in and try to blow something up now.

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