Where Did Rixx Go?

Nowhere. I decided to take a short break from blogging this week. My decision was easy to make considering the triple threat suddenly appearing - my Wife home on her porch vacation, my three remaining boys home from various camps, and a sudden and welcome insano work schedule.

Not that this belongs on a blog about Eve, but it does sometimes affect my playtime and the decisions I make in-game. My oldest remaining Son (at home, my oldest recently got married and moved out!) suffers from some combination of Autism Spectrum Disorder along with various and sundry other conditions that medical science is unable to properly diagnose. Heck, even the Autism Spectrum thing is really just a catch-all for a wide variety of symptoms they have no idea about. We use "autism" as an easy way to explain to other people what we don't know. Which is a lot.

We've been dealing with this in our family for seven years now. And sometimes it flares up into a violent episode. It did so again this past week.

This first time this happened was when Lucifer's Hammer was growing and we had just started the BURN AWAY Alliance. The events in real life during that time were rather devastating, unexpected and violent. None of us knew what we were dealing with at the time. I came very, very close to quitting Eve. And, sadly in hindsight, made a few bad decisions in-game as well, which eventually resulted in losing the Alliance and effectively killing Lucifer's Hammer.

I've taken a lot of grief over those events. I essentially down-stepped my Eve play and did the only thing I could think of and joined the Tuskers. For about 4-6 months there I rarely played at all.

I've never said any of this out-loud in an Eve context before. But it has happened again and I think it is time to come clean. I do try and not mix RL and Eve much in this blog, but over the years I've come to realize that the two things are really not different. They are the same. Events in RL do affect events in Eve. The loss of my business, bankruptcy, a nasty divorce, and then the on-going issues with my Son impact the goings on in Eve, just as they do in my real life.

When I did come back fully to Eve it was to face an asshole in Tuskers that not only insulted my decision to take down the BURN AWAY Alliance, but who also brought my children into it. The leaderships decision to back that individual and strip me of my roles set the stage for everything that happened afterwards. It was at that moment that I started planning Stay Frosty and A Band Apart. I wanted to build a place that put RL on par with Eve. That treated people with respect, understanding and compassion.

You may scoff at this. And you have every right to do so. I don't mention any of this to justify anything that I have done or to place blame at the feet of anyone. I mention it because I want the real story told and because real life is important. In fact, it is infinitely more important than anything that happens in Eve.

This time I don't have to make the choice between playing Eve and taking care of things in my personal life. I don't have to make that choice because Stay Frosty and A Band Apart are exactly the place they are supposed to be. The people are incredible. They understand. And they know what is truly important.

I'll be back this week in-game. I'll be back to blogging full-time.

We cannot be defeated. In this life or in-game. But we all have the choice to build a better world. Both out here in real world and inside the virtual worlds we choose to play.

I'd like to challenge us all to work harder to be better people and better players.

Keep the courage.



5 comments:

  1. Challenge accepted :) ABA culture and the people in it keep eve fun to play, rather than a chore. Looking forward to seeing Rixx back in chat :D

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    1. Thanks m8. It has been a challenge balancing everything, but we continue to strive for perfection.

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  2. Rl>eve anyone who thinks differently had some mistaken priorities. Looking forward to seeing you in black rise again

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  3. Even though I'm not in SF anymore, you're my friend so I send hugs and say Stay Strong!

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  4. Posts like this are why I will be flying with you and stay frosty till the bitter end. Happy birthday btw

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