Head in the Game
I have a court date coming up this week that has been eating away at my mind for the past month. It isn't anything criminal mind you, just another page in a long and horrible divorce that has been dragging on for over eight years now. And no, I'm not going to bore you with details.
Suffice to say that after well over a half-million dollars it all boils down to a measly paltry sum of remaining money that I simply just don't have. And that is the part that is driving me crazy. I essentially sacrificed a successful business and my entire life savings in the pursuit of happiness - and to have it all come down to something so meaningless is frustrating. I never once didn't pay, in fact, no one wants this to be over more than me. If I had it, it'd be done.
I freely admit that this continuing saga has not only preyed upon the quality of my life out here in the real world, but also my in-game life as well. It is difficult to focus on my projects and my commitments with this hanging over my head.
The last time I brought this up in these pages I received some pretty nasty comments. I appreciate the fact that divorce and marital support are important issues. And many may wonder why I even bother bringing them up in the context of a gaming blog. Frankly, I need somewhere to talk about it. Even just writing what I have written so far has helped. That's why I put the warning up there.
My head isn't in the game. And I've been aware of this for quite some time. In fact, even as far back as when we decided to stay out of this year's Alliance Tournament - this was one of the biggest reasons why. I knew this was going to happen.
I've always been hesitant to drag real life into these pages. For the longest time I completely refused to do so. But over the past few years it has become increasingly apparent to me that I shouldn't have worried. Take it or leave it, this is me writing here every day. Rixx is after all an imaginary virtual construct thru which I play a game. He is an awesome guy, don't get me wrong, but he has been built primarily out of my own imagination. Everything that makes him more than just another avatar, has been dreamed up and put into action out of my head.
Every word I've ever written has been about me.
All of which is my way of saying bear with me while I try to avoid jail time on Wednesday. Cause, despite what you might think, I'm not an actual Pirate.
Onward and upward.