UPDATE: Moving RL HQ


The following post is about real life issues and is an adult conversation regarding those issues. I respect the fact that some readers may be bored, so please feel free to move along. I'll have actual Eve posts again here shortly. Thanks.

One of the funniest "hater" comments I run into around the neighborhood, usually on TMC or Reddit, is the accusation that I've made horribly bad life choices. If only I had made better decisions, my problems would be solved and life would be so much better for me and my family. On the surface this accusation bears a striking resemblance to truth. I mean, obviously, good decisions are better than bad ones. Right? Of course they are.

Most intelligent and thoughtful people strive to make good and well-considered decisions. I don't know anyone who purposefully sets out to make bad ones. Even though I know plenty of people who seem to keep making the same bad decisions, even they are usually well-intentioned. As you get older and live life you begin to understand that decisions are not an isolated point in time, but rather a tree that branches off in thousands of expected and unexpected places. Let me use an example. My first marriage was, by all accounts, a horrible and devastating monster that has consumed a large chunk of my life. It would be easy to say it was a bad decision. And in many ways it obviously was. I freely admit that. In hindsight. But that marriage also gave me my Son, who I love more than anything. That marriage also instilled in me a determination and confidence in myself that resulted in some incredible career milestones, achievements, and opportunities that I might not otherwise have had. And while it became a horrible marriage, it didn't start out that way.

More than anything that bad marriage brought me to a place where I met my current wife, who happens to be my soul mate. So was it really a bad thing that it happened? It is a rather complicated question without any real answer. Because it is real life and real life is not a series of binary decisions one after the other. Life is messy, complicated, convoluted and impossible to predict. Not just my life, but yours as well.

Recently my friends and family gave me a chance to change the course of my life a tiny bit in a new direction. And for that chance I am eternally grateful. I want to take a moment and bring you up to date on how that is going and what your help meant to us.

Until only a few short months ago our hands were tied when it came to our largest asset, our home. We could do nothing with it except struggle to keep it. If we lost it along the way, it would be gone forever. And along with it a huge investment. This is because it was protected by the bankruptcy that followed the closing of my business. And while that was a good thing in many ways, it also meant that our credit sucked serious ass. Worse, no banks or financial institutions could even discuss re-financing or re-structuring with us until THREE YEARS had passed. A milestone that just passed in January.

We worked like maniacs since February to try various options. It quickly became apparent that re-financing the current home would not be an option for us. So we began looking at other options. Eventually a very small window of opportunity presented itself and we made the decision to take advantage of it. By the narrowest of margins we were able to secure a new home (new to us) that was half the size of the current one and less of a burden on our wallets. This made financial sense. Luckily my wife's Father was able to help us along the way as well, which proved to be the final help we needed. Now, for a short period of time, we have two homes. It is critical that the old home sell as soon as possible. If it does, and if it brings a good price, our problems may be solved. It is a chance. A very slight chance, but its the best one we've had in a very long time.

For the past two months we've been eliminating extra crap from our lives. Throwing away over 3 metric tons of crap. Selling assets. Donating goods to charity. Down-sizing once again. For the past two weeks we've been closing on the new house and preparing the old one. We rented our own truck. We moved our own home. Ourselves. My Son and his wife came to help. It took three trips in the truck because we could only afford to have it for two days. And about 30 trips in our cars, but we are finally moved in. Now the old house needs prepared for sale. And this I have to do on my own.

I am cleaning and fixing and preparing a huge house for sale, all last weekend, every night this week and probably all next weekend to get it ready to go on the market. I am literally scrubbing, crawling, and cleaning every square inch. It has become an almost religious cleansing experience for me. The scrubbing away of an old life and the washing away of past sins. All with the knowledge that this is my chance. If things go well this could change everything.

We succeeded in keeping the house. Many times we didn't think we would. Most months it was a supreme challenge. Along the way we often needed help just to keep it. It was a huge burden, a massive source of overwhelming depression and we are almost free of it. It is a mess and selling it will be challenging. But I am determined to get it into shape as best I can. To give us the best chance we have to succeed.

By keeping the wolves at bay for the moment, this is the chance that you gave us.

It was not a spurious thing asking for help. And it wasn't something taken lightly. I want you to know that we are all thankful, and working our asses off every day to make the most of it. The house should go on the market next week. And hopefully we can find a buyer quickly. If it works out the way we hope, this could help us close some important chapters in our life.

Either way, we are moving on to face the future. And a big part of that opportunity is because of the Eve community. And that is something we will never forget.





17 comments:

  1. God Bless you and your family in this new beginning!

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  2. Despite all the haters, there are people out there, even people like me from another continent who don’t even know who you are that read about someone who has stood up and admitted mistakes which as you say are so easy to tell in hindsight and is doing what they can to make it right. Could it all be bullshit, yeah it could but my gut feeling and I think a lot of others too is that it is not. I hope after all the BS over the last few months that you sell your old house, for a good price too and that you can then settle in your new home and make some new branches for that thing called life.

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    1. Thank you, I really appreciate that.

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  3. Yeah hindsight is 20/20, but that means you are viewing the world through your asscheeks! You've admitted some oopses, are working towards a better present and future, and being very responsible adult about it. Let the haters hate, they'd probably hate you even if you gave out free Titan. Keep driving forward, it works out eventually.

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    1. I have no interest, nor have I ever had, of everyone liking me. I always strive to do what I believe to be right and to live my life to the fullest. There have always been those that don't like that and I've never let them stop me. Not even once.

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  4. I think it's not so much that you've made bad choices that annoy some people, but that it appears to be other people sorting them out constantly, while you frequently show off what is to most people a life of luxury. When someone's reading how you need thousands of dollars so you can buy a smaller house while they are renting a crappy apartment, eating ramen and reading your blog on their taped together laptop, it's hard not to be annoyed by it.

    Even with this post, talking about how you had to move yourself and scrub the floors, like that's something other people don't have to do and it's an astoundingly bad thing to have to do. Like we're all supposed to go "oh that poor man had to rent a van and scrub his old house, so glad I have the servants for that".

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    1. I think you are seriously fucked up if you can read that and come to that conclusion. I don't live a life of luxury, what I do live is a life based on thirty years of hard work, paying my debts, my taxes, and taking care of my family. I don't mention scrubbing floors as if other people don't have to do it, where does it say that?! I mention it so I can help people understand that I am taking this seriously, working hard to make it work, and not sitting in some high-tower whining about shit. The same thing I've always done.

      I've lived in shitty apartments. I've had taped together laptops. I've eaten the same meal for weeks at a time. I've had rats the size of small horses in my room. So don't preach to me about poverty. I'm sorry you haven't risen above your own petty nature and lived your life yet, but that has nothing to do with me. I have the life I have and we are working hard to deal with it responsibly, as we always have.

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    2. I do find it frustrating that people go "He's obviously not worked for anything". The fact that you've had a SuperBowl advert (even if it was a little bit kooky [a lot kooky!]) says more to me about how hard you've worked to organise yourself and your business. I could say many trite things, (Don't let the haters get you down! is the most obvious one), but I think this below is all that you need:

      You're moving forwards, Rixx, you're challenging the world that challenged you. Good luck o7.

      Is ABA still recruiting?

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    3. Oh they don't really bother me frankly. Anonymous people say the darndest things.

      And yes, ABA is always OPEN for business.

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  5. It is nice to read of these positive steps forward. I hope your old house sells super fast and nets enough to pay off that ex and wash your hands of this years-long drama. Best of luck with all of it.

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    1. Thanks Mynxee! That would be the best outcome from all of this.

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  6. Rixx, this is fighting the good fight - for your family (the best fight). Against Goons not bad either :-).
    Fingers crossed for the best outcome.

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    1. Thanks. Goons was just for fun, this is for reals. :)

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  7. Does "this could help us close some important chapters in our life." means that from the price of the huge home you can repay (most of) your loans, the 40K to your ex after your business and be free?

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    1. That is the possibility that exists, all of which depends on it selling and for how much above what we still owe on it. So fingers crossed, but if everything goes extremely well it could get us back to square.

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  8. I hope all goes well for you and your family

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