A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Dock


I will warn you up front that 99.99% of Eve players would not tell you this story. I do not come out of it looking good, smart, clever, or the hero in this one. In fact, I look like an idiot. And a dumb idiot. If you are shocked by my candor, then you must be new here. I've always been willing to share my epic tales of adventure with my readers - both the good and the bad. There are no f**ks in my field, it is barren.

Last night Eve was boring. It happens from time to time. I probably visited about 27 systems and found nothing to engage. Mostly it seemed like Jackdaw Night for Noobs, as the damn things were everywhere. But they were a jumpy, scared bunch of Alpha Jackdaws that ran at the slightest shadow in local. Twitchy, non-fun, bunch of rabbits. The ones I did manage to wrap a scram around turned out to be stabbed anyway. And some Gate camps. And a SC Titan in Aeschee. Yawn.

Which reminds me, I ran into a Shadow Cartel pilot the other night that was stabbed. Our 1v1 wasn't going his way and so he just bailed. I wasn't as surprised as I would have been if he was in Tuskers, but it was close.

But back to the narrative. I know you are wondering how this ends.

Time to log off for the evening. My Dramiel slips into dock... you know that split second when you are docking, but right before the screen turns black? Yeah, thats when the Impairor undocked. Now normally I'd let it pass and just log off, but gosh darn it, I had put some time in and gotten nothing. So I grabbed a Arty Cane and undocked to pop him. Which I did in one shot of course. But not before the Nidhoggur had cyno'd in and docked up.

I warped off and then warped back. But then a transport ship (I don't remember which one) undocked. So I shot it some. And it docked back up. And yes, I now had a timer.

My house can get extremely chaotic at times. Two or three kids, a Father-In-Law, eight cats, and lots of drama can unfold at any time. Such was the case at this critical time. And so I left my chair for a minute to deal with some real life drama. Only for the briefest of moments.

You are probably ahead of me now.

Yes, the Nid had undocked and had me pointed under the timer. All I could do was laugh as my Hurricane toasted. I posted lol in local and we had a brief chat. It was funny, and it remains funny.

I've lost 1,801 ships/pods in Eve. I once died stuck to an asteroid in Null. I once died in a "safe spot" while I was in the bathroom. I once died three times in the same ship in Providence due to a glitch. I've died because my mid-slots wouldn't activate. Or because I undocked without checking my cargo for ammo. Or drones. Or because my ship wouldn't move. The servers have killed me a dozen or more times. (That doesn't happen much these days thank goodness) I could go on.

None of these stories happen to people who fit stabs to their Jackdaws.

I've written over 2,000 blog posts on this blog because I have stories to tell. Stories happen to people who undock and are bold enough to make things happen. Nothing happens when you are trying to be safe.

Be bold. Don't be afraid. It's all just pixels.

I can't wait to log on tonight and see what happens next.





Firetail Encounter Illustration

Firetail Encounter Illustration
Click to embiggen
This one has been sitting around half-finished for over a year. Today I had some time to finally finish it. I have a dozen or more of these unfinished pieces just waiting around for me to have time to finish them. 

Enjoy!

I also created an Alternative Version:
Firetail Encounter Alternative
Click to embiggen



Come Fly With Us


If you've ever considered one day flying in an Alliance Tournament and making a run for the championship - maybe today is the day to finally take that step.

My Alliance, A Band Apart, is currently forming up our team for this year's Alliance Tournament run. We are practicing every week and getting ready for the big push after Fanfest. As always this time of year I write a blog post reminding people that if you want to play - now is the time to jump onboard. We don't know what the deadline will be this year but it is typically around May, so you only have a few weeks left to make your decision.

In my opinion that decision should be to come join our team. Especially if you come from a smaller Alliance or one that isn't planning on participating - or if you come from a larger Alliance and don't think you'll make your own team. I mean, there are only so many spots available. And not everyone is willing to give all pilots a chance. Those damn bitter vets man. That is not the way we build a team. Heck some of our pilots never did the things they did in the AT before they joined our team and started learning with us. FCs, Team Captains, Tackle, Logistics, all roles are constantly learning and practicing until they git gud.

It takes dedication, commitment and time to make the team. There are no shortcuts. But glory awaits those that take on the challenge. We came close to breaking into the final group last year and finished 11th. The year before we finished 14th. The year before that we lost both matches. Our intention is to do even better this year and maybe, with your help, break into the final four.

If you are interested in joining our team - send me an in-game mail about it and let's talk.

I can tell you this, there isn't anything else like it in New Eden. Flying with your teammates, winning the tough fight, the anticipation of your next match - it isn't like anything else you can do in Eve.

Think about it. Glory awaits.



Moon Pew Pew

Pirate Athanor
What won't I shoot at!?!
So let me get this straight, we have a gigantic laser mounted on a structure that can shoot a very large chunk out of a Moon and drag it into orbit? Oh yes please, sign me up.

I know this is old news for you Industry minded pilots out there, but remember we are Pirates and it takes time for new technology to filter down to our level. We don't get all the fancy state-of-the-art High Sec gear out in lawless space until a few months down the road and then it takes us time to cobble together enough stolen goods to pay for third-rate merch - but eventually we just have to try it.

So why would a bunch of Pirates have a Moon shooting thing? Same reason we have Citadels. To learn the mechanics it is best to use the mechanics yourself. And second, these things are content creators just by being in space. They have guns and you can fly them! And then lastly, they do provide revenue. Even though we are scum-sucking Pirates, we also need revenue.

There is literally no downside. And it is just cool.

Which is the best reason of all.



Amusing Alpha Accounts

Last Night

People are funny. And they only continue to get weirder and weirder. Now that you can play for free and essentially pay your way into almost any ship, without actually putting any time in - things are only getting weirder. Someone on Discord the other day pointed out the killboard of a young player who is 0-97 and all of the losses are what even a hardened vet would consider significant ships. Like a Rorqual pilot warping to a HS gate and then losing another Rorqual later the same day.

Unlike most people who are screaming "Eve is Dying" over on r/eve or somewhere, I personally find these people amusing and I wish we had more of them. Send more paramedics! (You may not get that reference) Look, let's be honest here. Eve is not for everyone in its current iteration. Lots of these people popping in and spending cash on get quick schemes are going to fail out. But a few will stick. Hopefully the churn will keep the wheels spinning. And in the meantime, they sure are a blast to run into in local.

Beyond killmails, these new players have added to the local flavor. While new players typically don't have a good grasp on Eve's history, some of these Alpha's take that idea to new heights. I've honestly never run into a player-stranger that didn't want to know anything before. I often offer advice or counseling to fellow pilots after a fight, the typical response is either cold silence or thoughtful banter. Lately though a new level of weird and completely unearned arrogance has appeared. A couple weeks ago I had a player with about 200 kills to his name berate me in local. And while that is certainly amusing, I also find it a bit troublesome. Yes, that used to happen, it isn't anything new. It is simply the frequency that seems to have changed.

Which isn't the same as people trying really hard to smack talk me in local. Sometimes when I'm bored I will play along with these attempts for my own amusement. But the quality has dropped a lot lately. Again, it has become more tiresome than amusing. Although I still find it funny when some random stranger thinks he is God's gift to smack talk. Seriously dude, you are the 147th person to use that line. And no my Corp of 319 Pirates is not intimidated by you or the three other pilots in your little Corporation.  Sorry.

News flash - you are not going to be able to smack talk me. It doesn't work. The Mittani has tried. Grath has tried. And pretty much every other asshole in Eve over the last decade has tried. You are not going to be better at it than they are.

Another amusing use for Alphas is the obvious Alt accounts. Last week we had a random player-stranger show up in local and start smack talking. That isn't unusual. Thing is, the longer they talked the more specific the smack got. Eventually it was obvious which former Corp pilot they were. The proof was when I called them out... the smack stopped and they left local.

Bless the Alphas and keep them. I want more people to play Eve and stick around. Eve is much better in the long haul and I'd like to see it stick around for many more years. Mostly so we can keep killing Rorquals and Faction fit Proteus'.

Eve is FREE to Play!!



Rorqual Death

Rorqual Death
Click to embiggen
So yesterday this happened.

I was coming back from being blobbed in my pod when I noticed this Rorqual sitting on our station. I quickly jumped into one of my Bhaalgorns and undocked, mostly just intending to have some fun trying to bump it off station. I also started yelling in Corp chat. This is Eve and one never knows what might happen next.

Instead of bumping him I noticed he was aligned... at the High Sec gate. Fellow SF Pilot Devlin also noticed this and warped to the gate in his Slasher (iirc). Either way the Rorqual actually warped to the HS gate, so I quickly aligned down myself. Well, as quickly as a BS can. As you all should know, Capitals cannot jump into HS. At this point we just assumed he had a cyno and was just trying to buy time. But then Devin reported that he landed 10k off the gate and that he already had scram. I was already in warp and landed at zero as intended. I heated my MWD, got point, webs, dropped drones, and aligned right back at the Rorqual. That first bump was legendary and he bumped clear back to 17k off the gate. My weapons and neuts and heavies were already shredding, but Rorquals can be tough and I figured this was going to take some time.

By this time Devlin had left to go grab his own BS and I had Logi on the field to help with gate guns. At this point the only real worry was potential traffic, but local remained relatively calm. The ship was dying quickly, too fast for a Rorqual, when the pilot eventually decided to self-destruct. Devlin managed to get his pod and the salvage.

Turns out it wasn't fit at all. I had noticed this ship docking in our station a week or so ago and told everyone to be on the lookout for it. I never thought this would happen.


I realize we are living in a new age here. And that there are people playing Eve who simply haven't gone thru the traditional learning cliff Hell that most of us had to endure. But on the other hand, there are so many more resources available now than ever in Eve's history. Videos, Guides, tutorials, blogs, forums, Slacks, Discords, the list of helpful and useful information is overwhelming. So how do you explain this?

I know I can't. 

But I do appreciate the kill. I won't forget it anytime soon.



I Have a Skin Disease

Imperial Dragons Garmur Convergence Murdock The Headhunter

These are just a few of the more recent skin purchases I've made. I admit I initially poo-poo'd skins in Eve. But lately I've become addicted to them. It helps that so many of these newer skins are freaking amazing.

I need more!



Coming Home

Coming Home
Click to embiggen
This is an unfinished idea I had for a full-scale piece awhile back and I thought I'd share it with you. This is the stage where I just throw ideas together in Photoshop and "sketch" them together to see if they are working. It's quick, but it helps work out any problems and get all the pieces the way I want them.

There are literally hundreds of unfinished projects lying around my studio, my computer, and in my brain. Someday I hope to get around to finishing more of them.

But, most likely, many of them will never be finished.

Such is the way of things.



NEW After Hours Podcast



The latest episode of After Hours is now available featuring my guest Mark726 of Eve Travel fame.

The episode is available on AudiBoom, iTunes, and Spotify. Be sure to like and rate it if you enjoy listening. Thanks!