Insane Cane

{ The following is sung to the tune of the "Brady Bunch Theme", please sing aloud in your home or office, no one will care.  Honestly they might think you're pretty cool and ask you out to lunch or let you skip mowing the grass this week.  Who knows what might happen.}

Here's the story of a lovely cane
Who was jumping over 34 jumps away.
All of them had camps of sabres, like in provi,
The furthest one was dragged.

Here's this story, of a pilot we call RJ,
Who was busy with assets of his own,
They were two ships, living in a hanger,
Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when RJ flew to save this cane
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this ship would somehow survive zero.
That's the way they all became the Crazy Bunch.
The Crazy Bunch,

That's the way they all became the Crazy Bunch.
The Crazy Bunch.

And yes, imagine me singing thru that about 12 times making sure it all (sorta) works and you have a clear mental picture of my morning.  Yesterday was sort of a day off from the WAR, most people were probably busy making isk and moving assets.  I thought about two ships that I had stranded way out in Tenerriferis (or however you spell it, sue me I'm lazy this morning!  Hey I wrote a song!) a fully fit Megathron and a fully fit Hurricane.  It sure would be nice to have them back.  But 68 jumps (34 each way, I can do maths.) right smack dab thru hostile enemy territory?  Lol, that's madness baby.

I did actually consider making two trips and flying a Battleship solo through zero... for about two seconds.  I may be daring and adventurous, but I like to not be stupid.  So instead I decided to only be mildly stupid, break down the Mega and try to save the fits and mods, put it up on the market and fly the Cane back solo.  A few Corp mates actually volunteered to help scout the way, but honestly I didn't feel like being responsible for them getting killed on a suicide mission.  Plus, something like this is best done alone.  Not for heroic reasons, but because you might need to log off at random times.

I figured I had a 1 in 10 chance of success.  Depending on luck and other factors, I probably wouldn't make it.  This wasn't space I had been thru before either, so no bookmarks or knowledge of what would be waiting for me.  So I needed to even the odds as much as possible.  How?  I'd take a shuttle on the down trip and make mid-warp safe spots in every system I went thru, fast and tight.  In every system I would not warp directly to the out gate, but first to a planet (hopefully one close to the out gate so I could scan ahead) but anywhere at an angle to the outgoing.  If you don't use this technique you deserve to die.  It saved my life three times going down and avoiding drag bubbles.

Coming back in the Cane I could use those spots and the same techniques to my advantage.  I also planned to do the trip back in three stages, burn like Hell and then log off in a safe spot for about an hour.  Why?  Think about your own Alliance for a minute, a red is reported in Intel.  It takes a few minutes for a response to form, where is he, what's he flying, etc.  A few guys go and try to cut him off.  This is what I was trying to avoid.  So I'd burn until I was spotted, jump thru the next gate, warp off to a safe and log.  Wait it out.

I only had to do that twice instead of three times.  I did get chased by a solo Sabre, who wouldn't engage me because he knew I'd kill him pretty easily.  But despite some close calls, the plan worked.  I made it all the way back safely with a cargo hold full to the brim with expensive mods and ammo.

Another successful day at the office I'd say.  Later in the day I helped blow up another -A- POS and put four more into reinforce just to make me feel even better.

And btw, Join DION!