The Whole Story

About a month ago I seriously thought I might not be playing Eve much longer. The forces in my life seemed to be working their way towards a forced exit from the game, despite my own desire to continue. As real life forces go, these were pretty powerful and compelling. I didn't believe, at the time, that they could be ignored.

It is difficult, given the nature of blogging, to properly convey accuracy, depth, and scope on a daily basis. Especially on this blog, where I'd much rather make fun of something rather than deal with it head on. It is, at all times, my intention to tell the truth. But that truth is at the moment I write. A moment that changes, evolves and morphs from one moment to the next. As it does for all of us.

About a month ago one of my sons was taken to the hospital. He just came home yesterday.

This event and the very real potential of either never playing Eve again, or at the very least, only being able to at rare times - meant a sudden and unexpected turn.  The path was pretty much laid out previous to this event. It was the unexpected and unknown path it might take that really wore me down.  So what to do?

I decided, since I had no way of knowing where, what or when, to simply step out for a moment. I figured the Corporation would quietly dissolve and people would find their own way. The Corporation would still be there when and if I could return, which was always the "plan". Just without dates attached to it. I also had someone else to think about, since generally speaking Angor and I travel the space-lanes of Eve together. So we moved to Delve and joined Macabre Votum, figuring at least we could be useful in a large null alliance when I could find time to play. And Angor would have plenty to keep him busy.

I want to say this has nothing to do with Morsus Mihi and Macabre Votum, Angor and I have many good and long-time friends there. My experience in the two weeks I was part of the Corp/Alliance was positive, the people were great and helpful, and they seemed like awesome doods. Ok, we'll leave it at that for the moment.

At the same time, despite some really scary moments, things on the real life front started to improve. Light at the end of the tunnel. Meanwhile on Lucifer's Hammer channels, it became apparent that people were not going to just fade away into the universe. Some did of course, but almost to a man, they didn't want to. Some stayed. Some, despite the early reaction, even started talking about stepping up to the plate. This was all going on at the same time. While my actual undocked playing time during those two weeks was almost zero.

And what little time I found to undock... well, again this isn't anything against MM or MV, but Null really sucks balls.

You can say what you want about Low Sec, but spending the last seven months there didn't prepare me for a return to zero space. I was in six fleets in two weeks in MM, three of those fleets disbanded after formation (a process that can take from ten minutes to several hours), two of them ended in blobby death, and one was a tremendous amount of fun - but it also ended in blobby death.

I had thought that with extremely limited play time a large alliance would be the answer. It is in fact the opposite answer. In low sec my options are so much greater it isn't even funny. And yes, I can still get blobbed to death in low (welcome to Eve) but it isn't the same thing.  And this post isn't about that anyway, so back to the topic.


I'm back in Lucifer's Hammer, or will be later today. Angor is going to be CEO. We are returning to never leave again. Even if something horrible happens again in RL, we'll just see it thru. 

I am the first person to admit my mistakes and leaving was a mistake. As understandable as it might have been at the time, it was still a mistake.  It won't happen again.

And my son is doing pretty damn good considering. This is going to take time and energy, but the terrible truth I was dealing with a month ago has transformed into a more manageable truth today.

So back on course.