It is a game after all

At heart I am a goofball. I freely admit this about myself. I could be a lot more serious about Eve. I really could do that. But... I really, really don't want to do that. I know this "serious business" stuff exists and many people choose that path for their own play-style. I respect that. But I can't bring myself to do it.

I do the dumbest things sometimes. It used to be, back in my earlier days, moving around the universe trying to find the worst possible situations to be a part of. Wars. Good fights. Hot spots. That's where you'd find me. Heck, I've started entire corporations simply because it sounded like it'd be "fun" or something different.

These days, having settled into a long-term relationship, my dumb goofy nature is often expressed in the things I do. Like undocking a Dominix and engaging a gang of AFs. Or warping my Vexor into a gang of logi-supported Frigates yesterday, just because I was bored and it sounded fun. It's only one ship right?

After four and a half years of this I am certain of only one thing, I'm not going to change. It is, after all, only a game.

And so I exist in a world of dual desires. On the one hand I really want to be a good ( possibly great ) pirate fighter solo type person. On the other hand however, I also want to enjoy "playing" Eve. The thing is, neither of those two things could exist without the other.

What do I mean?

Let's assume I decided to choose the "serious business" avenue fully. Embrace the professional and go full-bore. Take better care, be more choosey on engagements, perhaps train a boosting alt. That would last me for a week or so and then I'd get bored and quit playing Eve. There are far more serious things I can be doing with my time. I could finish that novel for example. Or write that new screenplay.

If I choose to flaunt "serious business" and go full goofball? Well that wouldn't work either. Playing Eve simply and purely for fun wouldn't be much fun after all. For one thing, I'd burn through ships pretty darn fast and then what?

No, it is the balance that keeps me interested. A healthy dose of professionalism mixed with a dab of stoopid. It keeps Eve fun, interesting, challenging and above all else - engaging.

I am lucky that such a game exists that can embrace both play-styles at the same time. It is extremely difficult to do that with, say, chess.

I bring this up today because I think many of you struggle with this duality. I thought sharing my own deepest understandings of my own nature, might be a benefit to you. Don't be afraid to not be afraid. Sometimes it doesn't make sense and that is perfectly fine.

It is, after all, only a game.