Happy Skippy Fun Time Systems
I'm about to tell you something that will automagically transform the entire Universe of Eve, increase subscriptions by 400 gazillion percent, increase revenues for CCP and ultimately, eventually, lead to the harmonization of peace and prosperity throughout the known world. You ready?
Introducing Happy Skippy Fun Time Systems, or HSFTS. What are HSFTS you ask? Quite simply the best idea ever in the history of Eve. So let me back-pedal and try to explain this insanely great idea.
Imagine with me a moment. A brand spanking new system is discovered, let's say one new one per Empire. These systems don't have CONCORD protection because they simply don't need it. Because, for some unknown but gloriously happy skippy reason, weapons mods simply DO NOT WORK in them. Whoa. I know right? But that's not even the great genius bit yet.
These systems are full of Kittens. Oh yeah, big-eyed, fluffy kittens of love. The asteroids are cupcakes, the planets are marshmallow, and the stations are open-air atriums of love and understanding. Old school Hippie style.
Oh sure it's magic. Love is magic baby. Unicorns, which are in your CQ, are also magic. This is a magical place of love, harmony and understanding. No one gets ganked here, no one gets war dec'd, or aggressed, or laughed at, or made to feel inferior.
Chicks will dig HSFTS!! Just think about it. Mining Cupcakes all day, drinking from the chocolate waterfall dessert tray of life, kicking it to the local bands, trading clothes with the Nex Merchants... I can imagine my own wife subscribing in about two seconds!
Oh sure, the evil, dark, dangerous Eve still lives on outside the gates of the four HSFTS systems - but after awhile no one will go there anymore. And why would you want to? Why not spend time consulting the EFT Wizard, who is actually a Wizard that lives on top of the Sun? You can spend hours talking about the latest fitting you worked up for your Drake, cause the EFT Wizard never tires, never sleeps, and never judges. Or why not join one of the fun-loving Gate Camps on the conveniently located Gates? These are real, honest-to-goodness camps of friendly, helpful, and non-aggressive girlie men, sleeping under the stars and pondering the deeper meanings behind deep stuff. It's just like College!!
Oh man, the ideas just keep coming. And that's when you know you are a genius!!
And the HSFTS systems don't have Wormholes... ewww. No, they have FluffyHoles, where fluffy critters of all shapes and sizes live. Like the Space Gopher! Or the ever lovable, Ground Hog of Hugs!!
Oh man, there is something for everyone in Happy Skippy Fun Time Systems. No one is left out, no one is punished, everyone is a very special snowflake. And isn't that special?
But I don't want to give away all the secrets! Plus, I'm sure by now your own head is full of wonderful idears all your own. So share, get into the spirit of a Happy Skippy Fun Time place in Eve, where we all hug, love and care. Carebears, one and all, LOLOLOLOLO!
I feel all warm inside.
(Originally published in January 2012, cause archives are fun too!)