Coming to Terms
Let's face it, I tend to stick out like a sore thumb. Even before I started writing this blog, I was causing trouble in space. But the real nature of that visibility truly exploded once I started putting words to digital paper back in 2010. Shortly after this blog started I jumped thru a Wormhole into the the Outer Passage on a small roam. The first system we appeared in had one person in local. That person said o/ Rixx in local.
I haven't managed to do a single thing since then to change that visibility. And it has served me extremely well. Let's be clear from the beginning, I am not complaining at all. Every moment has been a blast and I wouldn't change a thing. My visibility, as much as it is, has allowed me the opportunity to create events, build a 450+ player Alliance, and do an incredible amount of community support for this game I love and enjoy. Not to mention the amazing, incredible and extremely talented people I've been able to meet and come to call my friends. That part is all good.
It wasn't until recently that I finally feel as if I've come to terms with the dark side of that visibility. The dark side, if it can even be called that, is entirely oriented around the impact that visibility has on my in-game play. It is something that I have struggled with during the last few years. A big part of being a Pirate is being sneaky and being sneaky is rather difficult when you are well known, the CEO of a large Pirate corporation, a blogger, and the titular head of a rather large behemoth of an Alliance making waves. This is just the way things are.
There are times when I just want to play. And there are times when I still can. But those times are few and far between. However, over the last year, I have managed to incorporate this reality more easily into my play. And accept the fact as it is and not how I would like it to be. Acceptance is a huge part of it. Another huge part, if I'm being honest, is the turmoil surrounding my real life. As many of my readers know, for the past two years I have been struggling to re-build a career after my decades long business closed in 2012. Things are going much better out here in the real world and I believe that has had a lot to do with things getting better inside of Eve as well.
When I finally left Null Space and moved whole-heartedly into Low Sec my goal was extremely specific. All I wanted back then was to prove to myself that I could PvP and have fun playing Eve. That was the only goals I had. Along the way, other factors presented themselves and those goals changed, evolved and morphed into other areas. But, at the heart, that goal was always there. Looking back now, from this perspective, it is so much easier to see how each step along the way, led to where I am now.
Now it is important to accept the mantle that I created and move on. My goals are more general now and they involve a lot more people. Those original goals were all about me. And in a way, they were very selfish. My goals today do not center around me as much as they center around this amazing group of people that have become this incredible beast of an Alliance. I play for them now.
I am no longer an individual pilot sneaking around the Universe. Now I am the tip of a spear, the representative of a entity, the personification of Stay Frosty, and the fulcrum for an entire Alliance of players. And that is just about the coolest sentence I've ever written.
WE ARE GROOT.
As always, if you'd like to become a vital and important part of A Band Apart, and have fun playing Eve, please visit our in-game channels EVEOGANDA and/or The Frosty Hammer to hang out and learn more about our LS, HS and WH opportunities. We'd love to have you.