Anyway. I created a Famous PvP Excuses hashtag and started tweeting it. Over the past six years of playing Eve I've probably heard them all, or even used a bunch myself. Just yesterday I was given four different batches of excuses why my targets failed to explode my wittle Tristan.
While Twitter is transient, this magazine is forever - so here (in no particular order) are almost all of the tweets from the hashtag #famousPvPexcuses for your enjoyment.
The ones that didn't come from me are attributed.
"My mouse's battery died."
"My Cat jumped on my keyboard."
"oops, wrong ammo."
"I forgot to activate (insert module)"
"Falcon." And, or "Suddenly Falcon." - Sho Manao
"I burned out my (insert module)" - Prime Flux
"I had the wrong overview loaded."
"I didn't want that ship anyway."
"I was just road testing a new fit." - Skir Skor
"My connection is bad."
"I don't have blues on my overview."
"I was in the bathroom."
"Highsec is supposed to be safe." - Malcom Shinhwa
"Got stuck on the gate."
"My Battleship should never lose to a Frigate!" - Ubentobox
"Did someone say jump?" - Aracimia
"My overview was hosed." - Guy Finley
"I'm just trying to mine you idiot!"
"My Dad is rich!"
"Too busy tweeting with Rixx Javix!" - Kename Fin
"I pressed the wrong button." - Bagehi
"How am I supposed to make a living in this stoopid game."
"Gate is clear, everyone jump."
"I wasn't ready." - Kename Fin
"I was only flying through." - Kename Fin
"I hit approach instead of orbit."
"Your CEO said I was blue!" - Kename Fin
"I was wiping!"
"Fleet jump jump jump jump jump jump HOLD HOLD HOLD HOLD DO NOT JUMP YOU F%$#G IDIOTS" - Marc Callan
"My (insert key) was stuck." - Kename Fin
"I'm Seismic Stan" - Seismic Stan (lol)
"I'm a liver not a fighter." - Poppy (was supposed to be lover, but I think liver is better)
"I just started playing!"
"he must have been stabbed." - Susan Black
"I don't want to PvP."
"I'm with Red Frog you idiot!"
"I'm just not fit right for that fight..." - Susan Black
"He's just gonna pop a cyno if I fight him." - Susan Black
"I thought you'd be kitey."
"I haven't trained thermodynamics." - Ben Miller
"Yeah I'll just go get one of my 50 others, you have no effect." - Zedrik Cayne
"I'm bringing my friends next time."
"I'm going to use my alt corp to wardec you!" - Morg Braktar
"My main is in Shadow Cartel!"
"This is just my Noob alt." - Susan Black
"I got stuck on an asteroid!"
"I was dazzled by your avatar's good looks." - Coffee Rocks
"you're supposed to let me kill you!" - Coffee Rocks
"Meh, I only play for my Son."
"I'm actually just about to log off..." - Susan Black
"The insurance was running out, so I purposefully lost it." - Proto
What PvP excuses have you heard after a fight? Share them in the comments.