Yesterday I decided to invent a Hashtag and run with it to see what might happen over on Twitter. For those of you that read this magazine and do not follow me on Twitter (@rixxjavix), you really should.

Anyway. I created a Famous PvP Excuses hashtag and started tweeting it. Over the past six years of playing Eve I've probably heard them all, or even used a bunch myself. Just yesterday I was given four different batches of excuses why my targets failed to explode my wittle Tristan.

While Twitter is transient, this magazine is forever - so here (in no particular order) are almost all of the tweets from the hashtag #famousPvPexcuses for your enjoyment.

The ones that didn't come from me are attributed.

"My mouse's battery died."

"My Cat jumped on my keyboard."

"oops, wrong ammo."

"I forgot to activate (insert module)"

"Falcon." And, or "Suddenly Falcon." - Sho Manao

"I burned out my (insert module)" - Prime Flux

"I had the wrong overview loaded."

"I didn't want that ship anyway."

"I was just road testing a new fit." - Skir Skor

"My connection is bad."

"I don't have blues on my overview."

"I was in the bathroom."

"Highsec is supposed to be safe." - Malcom Shinhwa

"Got stuck on the gate."

"My Battleship should never lose to a Frigate!" - Ubentobox

"Did someone say jump?" - Aracimia

"My overview was hosed." - Guy Finley

"Wife aggro."

"I'm just trying to mine you idiot!"

"My Dad is rich!"

"Too busy tweeting with Rixx Javix!" - Kename Fin

"I pressed the wrong button." - Bagehi

"How am I supposed to make a living in this stoopid game."

"Gate is clear, everyone jump."

"I wasn't ready." - Kename Fin

"I was only flying through." - Kename Fin

"I hit approach instead of orbit."

"Your CEO said I was blue!" - Kename Fin

"I was wiping!"

"Fleet jump jump jump jump jump jump HOLD HOLD HOLD HOLD DO NOT JUMP YOU F%$#G IDIOTS" - Marc Callan

"My (insert key) was stuck." - Kename Fin

"I'm Seismic Stan" - Seismic Stan (lol)

"I'm a liver not a fighter." - Poppy (was supposed to be lover, but I think liver is better)

"I just started playing!"

"he must have been stabbed." - Susan Black

"I don't want to PvP."

"I'm with Red Frog you idiot!"

"I'm just not fit right for that fight..." - Susan Black

"He's just gonna pop a cyno if I fight him." - Susan Black

"I thought you'd be kitey."

"I haven't trained thermodynamics." - Ben Miller

"Yeah I'll just go get one of my 50 others, you have no effect." - Zedrik Cayne

"I'm bringing my friends next time."

"I'm going to use my alt corp to wardec you!" - Morg Braktar

"My main is in Shadow Cartel!"

"This is just my Noob alt." - Susan Black

"I got stuck on an asteroid!"

"I was dazzled by your avatar's good looks." - Coffee Rocks

"you're supposed to let me kill you!" - Coffee Rocks

"Meh, I only play for my Son."

"I'm actually just about to log off..." - Susan Black

"The insurance was running out, so I purposefully lost it." - Proto

What PvP excuses have you heard after a fight? Share them in the comments.


  1. Enjoy the results of my astonishing idiocy.

    1. Thing is everyone is an idiot, that is the secret.

    2. I lost a missioning battleship, as I did get called away from the computer, and I let my (then 9 year old) son finish the rats (who where dying very easily). He killed them all. Then a nice person popped up in a cheap ship, looted a wreck which turned him red. My son promptly popped his cheap ship. Then the raven suddenly (see what I did there) arrived and took out my battleship. When I was able to return to the room, my son started explaining things at 200 words per second.

      It was all good, the ship was insured (deadspace booster not withstanding), but needless to say, no one in EvE believed a word of this story. I'd be protected these days, with the trigger safety set to green, but those were the days.

      I'd do it again. My sons love to fly my ships when they can (I occasionally use them as flesh autopilots) and they often demand me connect the laptop to the TV, so they can watch fleet ops.

    3. Knug - Between my boys and my wife I've probably lost a good 35% of my ships. And that is being conservative. lol. Everything from emergencies to fights to having to help out in the kitchen can ruin a pvp engagement or a roam in enemy territory.

  2. I like this one we got after blowing a guy:

    ROSSLINDEN0 > i dont like this eve!
    ROSSLINDEN0 > the carebears know how to pvp

  3. Lol every bs I've lost solo was actually close to insurance going out.........also I didn't see "We have SRP"

  4. As posted to twitter: "Sorry can't fight, I'm short one gun and this market is shit. Fuck my life!"


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