What would it take?

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So this happened:

Mangala Solaris, most famously of RvB fame and a constant and abiding Rixx supporter, is walking away from Eve. It is sad news and Mang will be missed. It is always a little like having a small chunk of your heart ripped out whenever someone leaves Eve. I don't like it. But I certainly appreciate everyone's right to do so. Life is a complicated mess and it is best to get on with it. Eve is only a very small part of that mess.

This post isn't about someone leaving. Rather it started me thinking about what it would take for me to leave. In a few short months I will have been playing Eve for seven years and writing this blog for six of those years. There are times when my involvement in the Eve Community, my responsibilities as CEO of Stay Frosty, Executor of A Band Apart, and everything else I'm involved with can be a tad overwhelming. Just being honest here. In the spirit of honesty however, I must also admit, that I love and enjoy all of those things tremendously.

I did come close to walking away once. In the Spring of 2012 during the chaos surrounding my long-standing business closing it's doors. That was an extremely horrible moment that amounted to a huge stinking pile of stress, the ripples of which I am still living in today. (Both in and out of game.) It was catastrophic, no sense in down-playing it. And my first reaction was to shed as many layers of involvement as possible to focus more energy on what really mattered. In hindsight it was the right response and I did walk away from Eve for a couple of months. It did help. But I just couldn't let go.

At this point I am so invested in Eve, the community, and my place in that world that I have no intention of ever leaving. Intention is one thing, results are another. Life often has other plans and I know very well that day may come. Nothing lasts forever. There are events outside of our control that could take me away from Eve. Those are just things that happen and happen to us all.

I never intended to close my business either. But events beyond my control conspired to force me to make that decision. Sometimes we have to make hard choices. Let's just chalk those moments up to fate. Shit happens.

But otherwise? No. I'm staying.

I still get excited when I find time in my day to play. I enjoy the people, the community, the projects and the on-going challenge of trying to become good at playing this eternally confounding mess that is Eve Online. It is, after all, a lot like life. There is no end game. There is no roadmap, no path, no way of knowing where it will all lead. And one day, no one knows when, it will suddenly all just end.

Maybe in the final analysis that is what is so amazing about Eve. The same reason we all get out of bed every morning. The promise of a new day and what it might hold for us. Life, and Eve, are both adventures.