I Am The Power Broker


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

VENAL - At a hurried press conference this morning, Rixx Javix, long-time scam artist and notorious scum-sucking Pirate was revealed to be the mysterious "Power Broker" who worked behind-the-scenes to organize and coordinate the recent coalition known generally as The Money Badger Coalition. The identity of this secret person or persons has proven mysterious and has been the cause of much speculation until a recent chain of events forced him to come forward.

"A recent chain of events has forced me to come forward", Javix explained. "My iPhone was stolen late last night by Shadow Cartel forces that broke into my bedroom and scared my wife, they must have hacked the phone and gotten ahold of secret text messages between myself, IWantISK, and several Coalition members. So to avoid their ransom demands I am coming to you today to reveal my role publicly." Shadow Cartel members could not be reached for rational comment, although several of them did tell us off and make rude comments about our Mum.

During the press conference those assembled were then forced to watch a rather long Power Point presentation which was extremely well designed, in which the entire affair was laid out in stark detail. Apparently Mr. Javix was rather upset when his own RMT scams were eclipsed by The Mittani's RMT scams late last year and he vowed revenge. "I admit I was miffed his sucky ass Kickstarter screwed up my awesome Card Game Kickstarter." It was during a rather long few days of drunken debauchery that his path crossed IronBanks and a plan was formulated. "Other than Chribba, there is no one else in Eve that knows as many people as I do. So the plan made perfect sense."

"All it took was some carefully planned Tweets, a few Eve Mails to the right people, and some Anonymous Reddit posts to get things started. And then managing that idea until it took hold. It was all rather easy given all the help I was getting from Sion Kumitomo." He is referring to the horrible community bashing posts that Sion released late last year that dismissed the Eve Community and several well-known players as "Charlatans", a series of posts that only added fuel to the fire.

"I realize that today is historically referred to as April Fools Day," said Mr. Javix, "And that this news may be taken as a joke by many of you, the question you have to ask yourself is this - is it really?"

He then laughed and gave us all the finger as he boarded his Daredevil and undocked.

As of this release this reporter has been unable to verify any information from additional sources. Stay tuned as this story and the actions of the Money Badger Coalition continue to develop.



4 comments:

  1. He must be funding through the Javix™ brand Warp Core Stabs. Diabolical bastard!

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    Replies
    1. You know, they have a money-back guarantee

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