A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Jita

[The following Guest Post has been provided by Stay Frostian Watson Crick. All the lies and exaggerations are his alone this time, but the story is 100% true.]

It all started last Friday evening, my hauler’s Orca had just docked to Ish [EDITOR: Ishomilken, fun-time home of Stay Frosty!] with a billion ISK in modules but, being the idiot that I am, I had managed to forget a few and some of my favorite fits remained incomplete. I needed to send her back to Jita.

The only fast ship available was her Viator but just as she undocks, the Stay Frosty comms light up, “Caracal fleet in the Med”. I warp her off to the high-sec gate, hit the Autopilot button and tab to my main’s window.

Although it took us longer than expected to get this fight, it was a lovely affair. Four Caracals and a Moa died to an SF Cruiser fleet with no losses on our side. Fitting cloaking devices on t1 Cruisers is rarely a good decision.

When playtime was over, I noticed the delivery guy coming in with our food. Since I fully deserve my SF title of “Docking up for dinner”, I tabbed back to my alt, saw that she was sitting in a Caldari station and quit the game without realizing that she wasn't in her BR in Jita but rather in a pod in Ish. She'd been ganked and podded by a Catalyst and an Evil Monkey Asylum Cruiser fleet.

Viator Kill [EDITOR: Don't fit WCS to your BR kids!]
Pod Kill

Normally I'd be pissed about losing 140mil in ship+pod but I realized that the 8 gankers who did me in all had sec statuses between -1.2 and 2. So I put all of the kill rights for sale at $20mil each. Maybe I’d make a profit out of this after all.

In addition, since their cruisers all got CONCORD'ed, they probably lost the ISK war. I wanted to see by how much, so the next morning I headed off to zKillboard and this is where the story took a hilarious turn.

4 Billion Boo Boo Headed Vindi Loss

Eight minutes after ganking my alt, this guy undocked in a 4.3bil ISK Vindicator. The tears must have been glorious. Of course I couldn't resist contacting him… right after I increased the sale price of his kill right to 100mil ISK.

Haaaaaa ha ha ha ha!

From: Rosalyn Franklin
Sent: 2014.05.17 13:44
To: Razzack Chronos,  

I was temporarely AFK since my main was busy killing a bunch of cloaky Caracals with his Stay Frosty fleetmates.

Don't forget to clear out the kill right before undocking from Jita in your new 4bil Vindicator. Since you got top damage and can obviously afford it, I've made it a bit more expensive than your buddies.


Re: Haaaaaa ha ha ha ha!
From: Razzack Chronos
Sent: 2014.05.17 21:36
To: Rosalyn Franklin,  

Complete fucking derp on my part.. Top lel/10. i will pay the killright off when I go to jita for a new vindi next week so all good!

Myself, corp and probably most of EvE would have a good laugh.

Peace o7

TLDR: Ganking, u r doing wrong!

Epilogue: On Sunday night, we spotted another one of the gankers gate camping the Usi gate in a Brutix. Stavblest’s alt got him to agress with a bait hauler and we gave him a nice big hug. The bait survived in half shield and we didn’t even need to activate the kill right.

Brutix Go Boom!