I currently have somewhere around 147 ships in my main Hangar. Most of them are fitted and ready for combat. Some still need to be reviewed given recent changes, mostly the BCs and BSs, since I don't fly them very often these days. I tend to fit the smaller ships "on the fly" as needed, since small ships don't seem to last long when I fly them. Then there are the "support" ships, the Curse, the Pilgrim, the Lach, the Arazu, the Rapier, and others of their ilk, which can sit for long periods of time just waiting for the day when they are needed. Even so, the oldest ship among them is probably the Curse, which is about eight months old. Give or take.
Ships explode a lot when I fly them. I suspect most of you reading this already suspected that.
How then to explain my Tengu?
I bought that exact Tengu the day I could fly it. Sometime around July of 2010 according to a quick search through the archives.
That is almost four years ago. I've only ever bought one Tengu, and while it has changed components over the years, it remains the same one. And it has been in my hangar for four years!? I know what you are thinking right now, that Rixx is afraid to fly it and it has been sitting in the hangar gathering dust all this time. Right? Well no, not really. Granted, the Tengu doesn't see a lot of action. But it has been a regular go-to ship over that time period when it has been needed.
I flew it often in Syndicate. I flew it in Fountain. It has been in several Shadow public roams. It has scored some rather good kills that I can remember. And I bring it out rather regularly for show of force, or to score some much needed final blows when someone is in trouble. So the ship has seen its fair share of action over the past four years. It has never once been used for PvE and has always been PvP fit. Primarily HAM, 100mn AB versioned.
I'm not trying to justify the reason why I have a Tengu. I'm trying to figure out why the darn thing is still alive.
If I was given to sentiment I might start thinking I have an attachment to it. But that can't be right. I suppose never having lost a Strategic Cruiser I might be loathe to register my first loss mail in one. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I still haven't gone down to Dodixie to pick up the Loki and Legion hulls waiting for me down there? Despite being able to fly the other T3 Cruisers, I still haven't done so.
It is an oddity. And maybe that is getting closer to the truth of it. Maybe, as many ships as I go thru, as many as I blatantly undock into danger each and every day - just maybe having one constant is somehow important? Maybe there is some history attached to this thing. A connection back thru the thread, back to Null and all the steps between then and now? Maybe I am a tiny bit afraid to see that thread explode?
Nah.
The truth is not as sexy. The truth is I don't often need the Tengu. It isn't that useful to me, it is expensive, and I am a seriously poor pirate that keeps every dime he has tied up in his ships. The Tengu, on most days, is like a GTC with guns. It is bank. I could, if need be, cash that chip in someday. In a pinch.
It is rather remarkable that it is still alive. I'm not trying to save it, but it has managed to still be in one piece. Someday, like all ships, it will eventually explode into a billion pieces and be forgotten. But until that day it will continue to serve as both a connection to the past and a rather effective (if often not needed) hammer.
Long may she live.