Once again Rushlock has created a video response to one of my posts. I really do enjoy these and listening to his take on one of my posts after he has finished reading them. I often gain additional insights or perspective that I might not have considered when writing them in the first place. And that is very interesting to me. As an example, I hadn't considered the "never fly what you can't afford to lose" angle when I was writing my post about the Raiju the other day. It does make sense. And yet, it also doesn't.
Everything is about perspective. Back in my early days in Eve I had a day in which I lost everything I had. I had fitted up three Cormorants which emptied my wallet. I figured those Destroyers would yield me some dank iskies in return, but they all got exploded within a day. That left me with essentially nothing. And I had to start over. I was helped along the way by a very generous corpmate who lent me some iskies to help get me get back on my feet. My first two years in Eve as a young player flying in Null Sec were rough. And I had lots of days like that one. Luckily for me I happened upon a scheme, purely by chance. Almost every morning immediately after DT I would make the dangerous trek from Providence up to HS in a Badger without a scout. Back then the only rigs were large rigs, so I would buy as many as I could afford and haul them back down to Providence to re-sell. This was insanely dangerous. But it taught me many things. How to make and use Bookmarks for one. But also about how to build a small fortune, at least enough that I didn't have to worry so much about isk. This is how I earned my very first billion isk.
I only ever lost one Badger by the way. And that one didn't even have rigs in it.
Fear is the mind-killer. And fear of loss is a huge issue, especially when you are a young player. This is why many of us evil Pirates will send players isk or loots or advice when we explode their ships. We know what loss feels like. And it ain't fun. Real loss is one of the cornerstones of the Eve experience. And it either forges you into a better player, forces you to adapt, or results in you leaving the game. That is the hard reality of it.
Fear however is not why I decided against the Raiju. I have no fear. Last year during our historic FFA I undocked in a Naglfar just to let hundreds of Frigates kill me in it. For fun. I do that kind of thing all the time. The other day I jumped into a T1 Frigate just to let some other player experience a "fair fight" in Eve. My driving force inside of Eve is to provide content, to be the evil Pirate Lord and to play that part as best I can. All while being a nice guy. My sub is paid for by CCP and I have enough wealth to never have to worry about it again. But I am not a rich player. Not in context.
I can't afford a Titan. But I also don't need a Titan. Nor would I have anywhere to park one. A Titan is just an alien concept to me in my role and play-style. Pointless. And yet, even so, if I sold everything I own I could buy one. So, in a sense, I can afford a Titan. From a certain perspective that might seem contradictory. I did say I couldn't afford one, and then I said I could.
The same is true for the Raiju, and I did consider it. I could afford one. And I would certainly fly it. And eventually I might even lose it. And none of that would matter to me, I have no fear of losing such a ship. But having it doesn't fit my chosen path. It is outside the narrative. It is a unicorn. And the consequences to the upcoming FF4A we are hosting, to our Tournament plans, to the Corp, to the Alliance, all the way down to my ability to hand out free ships to newbros or gift someone millions of isk, would be harmed by its purchase.
Whatever wealth I have I earned. Just like I earned my first million isk and my very first billion isk from those crazy Badger trips back and forth from Providence. And just like I earned the rest from 12 years of creating Alliance logos and other commissions for my fellow players. And someday maybe I'll earn my own Alliance Tournament ships.
Until then, I'll just keep flying them like I stole them.
Because that is my style.