Head's up. This is a personal post about non-Eve things and for some this could be triggering. If you only want to read posts about Eve Online - then I suggest you skip this one. While Eve might pop up here and there, this is primarily a post about a real person. The person who writes these posts and who sometimes plays a character inside of Eve Online.
I didn't grow up around artists. My Father was a coal miner for 40 years and often worked weekends as a mechanic. We had a big extended family all of whom were contractors, mechanics, train technicians, plumbers, concrete workers, strong independent blue-collar people. I'm very proud of my family, but there weren't any examples growing up to look up to when it came to making a career out of art. In fact art was never my intention. Despite always drawing and writing stories, my thoughts growing up were more along the lines of engineering, space science, or possibly baseball player. Around the age of 16-17 a few things happened that threw me into a different path. I lost my perfect eye-sight. I kept growing taller and taller. I hurt my knee. And I discovered a true aversion to advanced math. Suddenly, I needed to take a serious account of myself.
My friends helped me. They thought it was obvious that I had artistic talent and helped me persuade the art teacher to help me cram four years of art classes into one year of art classes. So I could go to Art School. It was then that I realized that I had already been doing creative work my entire life up to that point, I just didn't realize it. A whole new world opened up to me. Things started making sense finally.
But even then, I had no idea what this meant. Or if you could actually make a living out of drawing pictures. And neither did my family. This was all a mystery to them as well. My parents did what they could to help me, but I was on my own. Especially when it came to paying for schooling. My mid-term change of heart had thrown any chance I had at scholarships out the window. So I did the best I could. What I didn't know then was that all the lessons I had learned from my Father and my family, that hard work was its own reward, that determination and grit accounted for a lot - all these lessons would serve me well in my life. In fact, this underpinning would become my super power.
I wrestle with self-doubt, anxiety, imposter syndrome, all the mental demons of failure and doubt about my abilities. I wrestle with these constantly. Especially back in those early days. Over the years I have taught myself, along with tremendous mentorships and friendships along the way, to turn those mental issues into powerful weapons to help me do great things. But they are always there, living right outside my line of sight. They never really go away.
But I promised myself one thing when I started on this journey - I would go for it with everything I had. I would constantly learn, constantly challenge myself, and always take every opportunity I could. I would never quit. No matter what. And I'm proud, looking back over my career, that I have lived up to that promise. I've survived through the coming of the desktop publishing phase change, the internet phase change, the social media phase change, the AI phase change and dozens of others. I jumped at the chance to test a new program called Photoshop back in the day. I taught myself digital video editing. I've written billions of words, scripts, commercials, annual reports, and even a few songs. I've never stopped learning and trying to be better at my work.
I won't bore you with all the details of my career. That 17 year old who woke up one day and realized his entire life had changed, that person was 40 years ago. A lot has happened since then. And today I work at that desk in the photo above. I've been a lot of people over those four decades, but I've rarely been an actual artist. Oh sure designer, copywriter, production artist, editor, art director, creative director, CEO, CMO, advisor, board member, entrepreneur - I've created a lot of things. And I've been a creative my entire life. But after my last consulting position I wanted to change things and get away from the stress of saving other people's failing businesses.
Which is a very long way to say this is all why my store front at RixxJavix.com was so important to me. Why I fought so hard for other creatives to have a chance to work with CCP over the years. And why this Board Game project meant so much to me when it popped up on my radar last year. I've always enjoyed genre work, my first commission in the sixth grade was a picture of Iron Man. And the opportunity to merge all of that history and passion into a project featuring Eve Online was just too good to be true.
I still have fears and anxieties. I don't have any idea what comes next. But I know that whatever it is, I will put everything I am into it. Just like I always have. I really know no other way to be.
And to anyone out there who is starting their own creative journey, or is stuck along the path somewhere, I hope my short-version helps you somehow. Life isn't a un-broken thread, it is complicated, challenging, and often seems dark and stressful. It is in those moments where we can truly shine and find a new thread that helps us grow in new ways we might never have imagined for ourselves. Don't give up. Tomorrow is always a new day.
Keep the courage.