Right off the bat here, I literally just discovered the "This Is Ami" youtube channel like five minutes ago. Also I am friends with Brisc Rubal on Facebook. I just wanted to get all of that out of the way. I do not have any other reasons for writing about this mini-drama here today. Ami didn't know who Brisc is or was, and Brisc responded in a rather ego driven way to that idea. This is the reason I'm writing a post about this today. From what I've seen I really enjoyed the video and I look forward to watching more content, I have subscribed. And I have no axes to grind with Goons or Brisc. What I'm about to say has nothing to do with that.
What I want to address is this concept of "Eve Celebrity" and what it means. Eve is a twenty year old game and e-fame for many, many people has come and gone over the last two decades. Players are often famous or infamous for a wide variety of reasons and in a wide variety of ways. All of us have our own corners in this massive sandbox and who might be well known to some are completely unknown to others. This is the way it has always been. And always will be. We've had people who have strived to be famous. And we've had players who want nothing more than to be famous. We've even had famous people who famously rarely even played the game. There has always been a little something for everyone in the Eve community.
As for me I'm always shocked when I'm at a real life event and someone knows who I am. I have never had any desire for "Eve fame" and I know for some people they might find that hard to believe. I do however, fully admit and own, the fact that I do like me some appreciation from time to time. I do appreciate being acknowledged for the work I do, for a good post, or a fun video, or a great event, or a piece of artwork. Or even for starting a gigantic meta-changing war or two. Or helping to drive a bully out of the game. Or something else I've worked hard to accomplish. And who doesn't? I think we all would like to feel appreciated. That's normal.
This is that dangerous dance with EGO that people often struggle with. Sometimes that stems from feelings of self-doubt, or insecurities (which we all have from time to time) or often it can come from momentarily forgetting yourself. And saying something you'll regret. That also happens. We're all human. In my case, and personal knowledge is all I have here, I was lucky that I started playing Eve much later in life than most. My identity is not tied up in how well my blog does, or how many views my videos get. Obviously I'd like for those to do well. And I have a lot of FUN doing them. I love this game and this great community of ours. But my personal identity isn't tied up in it the way I think some people's has been from time to time.
Sometimes in Eve when I enter local everyone will run away and dock up. And sometimes they don't. Sometimes I get a "Hey Rixx" in local chat and sometimes I get a message telling me how to better fit my ships. Often a player with a few thousand kills to their name will make fun of me in local. This is all part of the game. I never expect anyone to know me and, in fact, I'm always surprised when they actually do. I strive to keep a humble and open personal view of my own role within the larger Eve universe. On a daily basis.
I do find it funny that streamers tend towards having out-sized ideas about their own popularity. I have nothing against streamers, I fully support them. And there are some truly gifted streamers in our community. More power to them. Keep up the great work. But there is a reason why I've been writing this blog for 14+ years and have NEVER shared my numbers with anyone. (Other than CCP so I could qualify for the Partnership Program obviously) I don't share those because I never wanted to feed that ego beast in these pages. I don't write for numbers, I write for readers.
I even cringe a little whenever anyone makes me out to be "Eve famous". That always sounds like a trap to me. And I might get blobbed. I'd rather be well respected for what I do and sit down with you and talk about Eve at an event together. I'd much rather hear your story than tell you mine. And I don't find it weird at all when someone doesn't know who I am.
I do often have fun using propaganda to push an agenda, or try to affect change, or have some fun with something. And often some people have made the mistake of thinking that those efforts are driven by ego. And I even understand that, because not everyone knows me. That is also part and parcel of putting yourself out there and having a public persona. It comes with the territory.
Ultimately the mere concept of Eve celebrity is something for others to decide. I'm just going to keep doing what I've always done, keep writing, keep making art, and undocking every day looking for my next adventure.
The rest is up to someone else.