Stop Making Sense


Summer break. The mad rush at the end of the Board Game development. Being outdoors. Real life. All are factors that led me to decide to take a unusually long break from updating and writing in these pages. My last post was on June 17th and that might be one of the longest breaks I've ever taken in the fourteen plus years I've been writing this - whatever this is. Journal? Editorial? Meanderings of a demented mind? I dunno. Whatever.

It's not unusual for Summer to hit and life to take new turns. It is also not unusual to need a break. These things happen from time to time. It's normal. The unusual thing this time was how this break got started. First of all my heart decided it was a good time to remind me of how important it is by suddenly deciding to go into AFib on me. I spent two days in the Hospital and discovered a new thing about my heart. Apparently all this time I've had a minor birth defect that has decided to show itself all these years later. They were able to zap my heart back into normal and give me some nice drugs to help it stay there. Seems fine now. But that was rather scary. And I admit it was a bucket of cold water in the face. 

And then, as if to add insult to injury, some idiots decided then would be a great time to dump 15,000 shuttles on my kill-board. For no damn good reason. Look, I get it, some people are not going to like me. I'm used to it. I can often be an opinionated loud-mouth and come across, especially in these pages, as a bit of an egotistical prick from time to time. But those of you who know me in real life know that isn't really me and that I am often playing a character here in these pages. A character who is a Pirate inside a internet spaceship game. A game. Not real. And yet, with real stakes. That is a dichotomy that is challenging for some players. 

In the end none of it added up to anything. In fact, the shuttle instance only managed to add to the legend. And we can add that incident to the growing list of incredible things that have happened to me inside this amazing community. So thanks for that. My Retribution is named "Shuttle Lord" for a reason now. 

As a person who has been playing Eve Online since 2008 and has been publicly Doxx'd two times, stalked in real life, harassed, publicly called a piece of shit by the former player known as the Mittani, and threatened both in-game and out - I can honestly tell you I'm not gonna quit. I'm not going to stop writing these words, playing this game, creating art, and supporting this community. You can keep throwing lies against the wall all you want. I've never scammed anyone in this game. In point of fact, I have given back much more than I have ever gotten from this game. I've paid it forward triple. So whatever axes you need ground - feel free. 

But, as we all know, none of this makes a difference. Logic. Reason. These are not the values held dear by these types of people. In fact, just writing this post and mentioning them in black and white only encourages them. I know this. Which is why I do not write these words for them. I write them for the 99.9% of you who are reading this honestly. Those of you who might not know the stories, who are new to the game, or the community. Eve is a constant revolving door. And that is why it is important to keep these stories alive. To help provide context.

I know this is true because the same thing happens within my own Alliance. New players have questions and telling these tales becomes a constant and on-going effort. Which is, after all, one of the reasons I will keep writing. Not because doing so seems to annoy a few, but because doing so helps illuminate many.

In the end, I will not stop making sense.