I Never Learn

Nope.  I never learn.

As if starting a Corporation from scratch wasn't enough, I had to also start an Alliance up from scratch.  You'd think I'd be smart enough to stop there, but no.  Then I had to add another Death Race onto my plate.  In addition to never being able to say no to anyone that needs commission work done, and I am still working my way through that pile so thanks for being patient.

And that is just in-game.  Real life has also presented some new challenges lately.  Real life is challenging enough without new ones being added.  And before you get your hopes up, no this isn't a preamble to "taking a break" or "I may have to play less" or one of those posts.

What this is, is simply the preamble to the following.  I asked for all of the above and I thrive under that kind of pressure, I love it.  Some of these new real life things I could do without, but that's the nature of real life isn't it?  We rarely get to choose the problems we have to face.  Rarely, if ever.

Eve is different though.  Within the context of the Eve universe we rarely don't get to choose the challenges we face.  Oh sure, random events and issues will arise, but we can deal with those in many ways we cannot deal with real life.  It is very hard to log-off in real life.  And any such decision brings a level of finality to it that Eve doesn't present.  With rare exceptions we can choose more readily within Eve the level and complexity of our participation.  Certainly this holds true in real life as well, we can choose the level and commitment we are willing to give life.  Many of you that are in College now will be or have already, made that choice.

For the last two weeks these added burdens have affected my game play, both in time and quality.  These periods come and they go, anyone that has played Eve for any length of time is aware of these "cycles".  This isn't anything new.  What is becoming increasingly apparent to me however, is how much these times affect my decisions within the context of the universe.  Two weeks ago I made an error of judgement regarding one of our members, an issue we worked out together, but one that wouldn't have happened during normal times.  But more significantly, this pressure has affected my performance and judgement during combat situations.

I know this.  I knew this.  And yet, seemingly, I never learn.  I don't anticipate that I will learn.  Because this post isn't about a problem, it is simply an observation about a problem.  There isn't anything wrong here and nothing needs "fixed".  The point being, if there is one to be had, is that Eve and RL are interconnected and linked.  They are after all one and the same.  The events in one world affect the events in the other.  And vice versa.  Speaking about them as if they are different only creates conflict and friction between the two, that doesn't need to be there.

Yes, duh, real life issues and stresses and problems affect my in-game performance.  It also works the other way.  My days are better in the real world if I've had a successful day of PvP in Eve.  And the opposite is also true.  And being distracted in RL affects my Eve play, no doubt about that.  

The Great Wheel turns and all things pass.  So will this.  Until then I'll just keep undocking and see what happens.