Earl: "What in the confounded netherworld is an 'e-sport' Herman!?"
Herman: "I ain't got the foggiest Earl, but this here fella' is payin' us good greenbacks to comment on it. So I suggest we do us some readin'."
Earl: "Fair enuff I suppose. Let me git mah Kindle."
Several hours later.
VO: Join us as we travel back in time to summarize Blog Banter #40: Intersteller Blood Sports! A Blog Banter that happened long ago in October of 2012. For this summary we ourselves have traveled back in time to Eve Oklahoma in 1898 to ask Earl Broderidge and his cousin Herman Oilfield to read and comment on the vast array of responses generated by the Eve Community.
Let's listen in as they do their best to accomplish the goals we established beforehand and earn those greenbacks we promised them. Some modern conveniences were provided to make their task a mite easier.
Earl: "This here Kindle is a marvel."
Herman: "Rightly said cousin. I am astonished."
Earl: "Flabbergasted would be closer to puttin' it true in my humble opinion, but nevertheless it contains a lot of readin'."
Herman: "I suppose. However you say it I remain ignorant of what in tarnation this here Eve Online is, or what, beyond the obvious fallen sinners of Rome, blood sports have ta do with anythin'."
Earl: "I can surmise that these referenced Blood Sports are bloodless acts of mere imagination, a mental brain exercise as it were. Totally figmated."
Herman: "Mayhaps. One could debate the acts of future folk unseen fer days 'n not come to the truth of it. I say we git on with summerizin' and leave the mental shennanigans to smarter folk 'n us."
Earl: "Well said cousin."
Herman: "This Rixx Javix fella seems a fair bit smarter than most. He thinks sports is an integrated part of Eve and future folk are gonna do what they are gonna do wether the big industrial powers that be say boo or not."
Earl: "Ehh, while his take was level headed and all, I didn't come away with nuthin' new from it. Frankly it left me mighty cold."
Herman: "Not at all like that Keith Neilson fella from Britain."
Earl: "British people are smarter'n us generally, and that fella laid out an entire multiple part organizational blueprint for building a complicated system of sport playin'. I didn't follow most of it, but the gist seemed to be rather smartly done."
Herman: "I always have trouble with accents."
Earl: I appreciated the brevity of Tetra's take on it, he called bull fast 'n furious."
Herman: "He makes a good point from my side, if it ain't in the Eve it ain't in the sport. Fakin' it just fer the sake of fakin' it don't make it real."
Herman: "Which is partly the point of Orakkus column that perhaps Eve ain't exactly built fer sportin'. Not yet anyways."
Earl: "Not without some changes he makes it plain ta say. And his point 'bout game money and real money is well taken."
Herman: "Smart fella."
Earl: "He used pictures I didn't understand."
Herman: "Mabrick didn't use no pictures."
Earl: "No, but he sure used a fair amount of bluster'n, man's got some strong opinionatin' goin' on in there. I ain't sure I followed most of it, but it is plain sure he don't like the idear much."
Herman: "Ya don't have to be from the future ta see that plainly."
Earl: "I like this here Trebron fella. Keep everyone apart that 'r different than you. That there is good thinkin'"
Herman: "I hate to part with ya cousin but that ain't a'tall what he was sayin'. He believes these sportin' games'll be fer the elite only."
Earl: "Ain't the elite supposed to be better'n us?"
Herman: "Perhaps folks think different in the future?"
Earl: "Perhaps they do. Goodness knows they probably think different'n a lot of strange ways."
Herman: "Like this Hydrostatic gent that thinks Eve is one rather large sport already?"
Earl: "Fair 'nuff. He throws a lot of dirt around in his column."
Herman: "That ain't dirt cousin, that there is Dust rather. From what I savy it is some sort of other game that doesn't exist yet."
Earl: "Strange ways these future folk have. Playin' in imaginary worlds with made-up people using things that don't even exist yet..."
Herman: "Makes me long fer the simpler days."
Earl: "The simpler days fer days that don't even exist yet?! Now you are the one imaginatin' cousin."
Herman: "Harr! I stand corrected cousin."
Earl: "Now this Ninveah fella' is hog-wild crazy over the idear!"
Herman: "Sure enuff, he seems ta think Eve needs more sportin' and mayhaps even some arena places to butt heads whenever the passion builds up in folks."
Earl: "I do enjoy a good game of cards. That picture I understood."
Herman: "I suppose in the future they let women write cause this here Dian Lung lady seems to be a lady."
Earl: "She's just another fence sitter in my opinion and a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, so the Good Book says."
Herman: "She ain't no man though."
Earl: "You sure 'bout that cousin?"
Herman: "Heck, I ain't sure 'bout much no more. She made some good points in my humble opinion. I think she is closer to the truth of it than most."
Earl: "Certainly better than this Mike Azariah fella, who didn't do nuthin' more than confuse the heck outta me by writin' a story about his opinion. At least I suspect that was what he did."
Herman: "I found it quite powerful and movin' even though I can't follow most of what was doin'. But combinin' things people like with stuff they don't, makes sense to me."
Earl: "Like Cranberry Sauce and Turkey I guess."
Herman: "I don't care none for Cranberry sauce."
Earl: "My point exactly."
Herman: "Now this H person uses a lot of Math in his column, talkin' bout faction this 'n that."
Earl: "That ain't math! Math is fraction with an R. Faction is... well I don't rightly know what in the blue blazes it might be. But he sure thinks people will fight fer 'em."
Herman: "He sounded smart ta me, even though I don't know my fractions from mah factions."
Earl: "If you think he was smart, this next one is a scientist!"
Herman: "A gosh darn British Scientist ta boot!"
Earl: "From what I can figure, and I ain't no super English brain, he thinks sports could be dangerous to this imaginary world... or somethin' like that."
Herman: "I git it. Treatin' a game... like a game... is mayhaps a bad turn? Somehows."
Earl: "That'd be my guess."
Herman: "I like this here Althurus gentleman, he writes like I think, short 'n sweet."
Earl: "Rightly said, in both incarnations cousin. But I tend ta agree. Eve is already a sport type a show, so makin' it more of a sport ain't all that different than makin' it a sport in the first place."
Herman: "Twistin' words like a tornadie, but I git yur meanin'."
Earl: "Morphisat? Sounds like another word for the Devil don't it?"
Herman: "If he is a horned devil then he don't like sports in Eve none, he makes that quite clear."
Earl: "I learned that this Eve ain't the only made up imaginary world in the future, that knowledge don't sit well with mah brain. So I'm not goin' ponder much beyond it."
Herman: "Best to keep the noggin' tempered in these cases cousin."
Earl: "This Sered fella is another brief opinionator and he don't say much, but throws his weight behind the idear flatly."
Herman: "Why beat the bush when you can jus' sit it on fire?"
Earl: "Well said indeed cousin."
Herman: "Some of these fellas tend to jawbone an idear till it ain't nothin' but gristle I say."
Earl: "Like Adhar?"
Herman: "Nah, it seems like a lot a words until ya take the time ta read 'n figure it with him. But he makes good points. Eve ain't ready for sportin', not until changes is made."
Earl: "Fundamental changes. Like those Baptists are always harpin' about?"
Herman: "I figure one taint got nothin' ta do wit the other cousin."
Herman: "Tha' next fella reminds me I need a new hat!"
Earl: "I think this arena idear has some legs to it. Several these writer fellas has mentioned it and the Mad Habberdasher seems t' think it has merit."
Herman: "It sounds Roman t' me and we all know how that ended."
Earl: "Fair point. Judgin' by that picture of that fella in his column, mayhaps he leans a tad Roman in his thinkin'."
Herman: "I can't rightly say this next fella's name, TurAmarth?"
Earl: "Sounds fairly right t' mah ears."
Herman: "His place has somethin' t' do with coal I think."
Earl: "He don't think much about sportin' but he does enjoy racin'!"
Herman: "I like me some horse racin'! I need t' git down to the track..."
Earl: "Herman Oilfield!! Remember yer vow cousin! To young Emma 'bout yer tendancies towards gamblin'."
Herman: "I'm ashamed in front 'a these future folk cousin."
Earl: "Ain't no need now, chin up, you is a human bein' full a trouble from Eden. New or Old, the fall done filled us all with carnal doin's."
Herman: "I am pleased t' see they has baseball in the future!"
Earl: "That Sand fella is yet another one talkin' bout arenas."
Herman: "I admit t' bein' mostly confused, he like the idear and then he don't like the idear none t'all."
Earl: "I'm gatherin' that there is the entirety of his point cousin."
Herman: "Now this here Glory Hole is somethin' I need t' git me some of! Glory!!"
Earl: "Cousin, I'm feelin' it might not be the kind'a Glory you git in Church."
Herman: "He admits to provacatatin' right up front, my sinceres fer not readin' ahead."
Earl: "S'right, he clearly adheres t' the common ground that Eve is already a game and addin' more game t' a game makes sense."
Herman: "Makes sense t' me 'n I don't even know nuthin'"
Earl: "This Hark gent makes some good points regardin' slang talk."
Herman: "Eve is a bit like those Rotary meetin's when the Doc gits up t' speak. I ain't always sure what he is goin' on about, but it sure sounds fancy."
Earl: "It does make it difficult fer us that ain't Doctors."
Herman: "Or if'n we ain't Jace. What in tarnation is this here immersion he goes on 'n on 'bout?"
Earl: "I got me a theory."
Herman: "Well, let's hear it then."
Earl: "I theorize that Eve bein' an imaginary thing that exists only in ones brain, it takes a whole lotta concentratin' to make it work proper. An this here hard thinkin' is rather easily disturbed by outside forces called CCP 'n bugs of some sort."
Herman: "That gotta be right, it makes perfect sense t' me."
Earl: "Well it is only a theory, I didn't finish the third grade, but this has been a lot of readin' today."
Herman: "Well now here we git pictures a Rome!"
Earl: "He come 'round from the other side, this Rox fella is a tricky one."
Herman: "True enough cousin, he walks a mile down a dirt road and then tells ya it been paved while you was a listenin'."
Earl: "I don't think he likes the idear and don't think it'll work much."
Herman: "I still ain't sure, but I suppose he may have a harder time concentratin' than some."
Earl: "Now this here Rhavas gent done went and laid out a solid plan fer doin' all the things those other fellas said can't be done!"
Herman: "The future sure is confusin'."
Earl: "It is indeed hard fer us to summarize that which we do not understand proper."
Herman: "It is a plan though 'n mayhaps that is enough to say?"
Earl: "It ain't enough for this here Roc fella, he don't take kindly to somethin' that those hard-thinkin' breakers done."
Herman: "Those... wut was it ya called 'em? See-See-Pee?"
Earl: "I think those 'r letters not words cousin."
Herman: "Ahh right, it does appear in quite a few places amongst these writin's."
Earl: "Like that other fella a whiles back, he think these sportin' are fer elite types. Like those rich folk that hit balls with horses!"
Herman: "They do that up in the Capital don't they?"
Earl: "Now how in tarnation would I know that!? I ain't no fancy pants."
Herman: "We jus' got us one more cousin."
Earl: "I heard a bean whistle, when it is on the stove!"
Herman: "We best not make fun of future folk cousin..."
Earl: "I suppose yer right."
Herman: "This one bein' last is right proper, cause Bean does a right nice job of summarizin' the entirity of the entire enterprise right nicely."
Earl: "I tend to agree with..."
Emma: "Earl! Herman! You dolts done talkin' to yer future friends yet!? I got chores needin' done!"
Herman: "Emma, git yer scrawny bones over here and help us earn our money!"
Emma: "Don't you go talkin' t' me like that Herman or you won't be gettin' no supper!"
Earl: "Well did ya read the Kindle or not?"
Emma: "Oh I read it. Was a lot of words and most of it didn't make no sense t'all. Like lookin' at a two-headed cow!"
Earl: "Can you summarize t'all?"
Emma: "Rightly so. Eve, whatever in Sam Hill that might be, ain't the place for real sportin' unless somethin' changes, which ain't very likely with them shadowy ccp fellas around to muck up things constantly. But seems people like sports."
Herman: "I know I do."
Emma: "Now git off'in your butts and git these chores done!"
Earl and Herman: "Yes'mam!"
VO: "And so we leave the past to once more travel into the future. We hope this multi-billion dollar expenditure of R&D Research funding has entertained and amused and enlightened. Don't blame us when your taxes go up next year!"
Earl: "We git to keep these Kindles?"