True New Newbs

See that picture? I drew a circle around the idiot in that picture. Yep, that's me at three months old, cloaked above a belt in low sec, in a T1 fitted Drake.

I was once a True New Newb.

Because my Drake is invisible (!) you can't see how scared I was at that moment. Lots of ships were coming and going below me and they were exploding each other at a furious pace. It was chaos.

Y'know what I did? I waited. And watched. Remember, I am about four months old at this point, I don't know the first thing about fitting a ship, how to use a cloak, or what the Hell low sec is all about. On this day I have less than 10 kills to my name, most of which were group kills. I was a tourist in Low Sec, living mostly in Null space at the time. I was curious. And I was scared.

But I watched. And a rhythm slowly revealed itself to me. The ballet below started to make sense. I had been plopped down in an alien world that slowly revealed itself to normal pace, reason and rhyme. Reds, nuetrals, ships fighting and dying. I can still remember the scene even almost five years later.

The field eventually cleared. Wrecks littered the belt and local dropped. A lone ship wandered from wreck to wreck looting. Every few minutes a transport would warp in, pick up the loot and warp off. Guarding the belt was a Sac.

If you think I was stupid for fitting a cloak on my Drake, you are really going to laugh when I tell you it had T1 Cruise Missiles on it. Oh god.

My plan was to kill the transport. I de-cloaked and aligned to the nearest rock. I suspect that the Sac pilot probably wasn't worried at this point, this is what I suspect today looking back on this. At the time I thought he best be worried, I was in a Drake with Cruise Missiles bitch.

The moment the Transport appeared on d-scan I warped. The Transport never arrived. I had landed right on top of the Sac. I crapped my pants. I fully expected to die. I didn't know what a Sac was, but I expected it to be nasty. It was red after all. But it just floated there and nothing happened.

So I shot it. Over and over again until it exploded.

My first solo kill in Eve was a mistake. My second was a friend. My third was an un-fitted Condor. And my fourth was a AFK Sac.

Yesterday I exploded a True New Newb and ended up speaking with him afterwards. It reminded me of me, and what it was like coming into this game totally unaware, blind and stupid.

But it also reminded me about the freedom being stupid affords you. How I'd often just go fly around space and watch things until I exploded. I wasted so many ships back then to just dumb luck and trial and error. But it was fun. And I didn't care.

My advice has always been to embrace your stupid. Don't be ashamed of it, or afraid of it. Embrace it. Learn from it and try not to be stupid the same way twice.

Stupid is just another word for daring, adventure, boldness, and awesome... gone wrong.

Was it dumb to fit a cloak to a Drake? Oh god yes.

Was it stupid to fit T1 Cruise missiles to a Drake? Are you kidding me?

But I lived. And I killed a Sac with it.

So you tell me. Funny, over 2,500 kills later and I can still remember the details of that engagement from five years ago.

That's Eve.


  1. The asteroids were ugly back then.

  2. A few weeks ago I almost lost a Jaguar to a couple month old player in a t1 fit catalyst. I'm so used to flying Catalysts with the New Order that I orbited at his optimal. If I'd orbited at close to my falloff his blasters wouldn't even have scratched my shields. Instead he popped just as I was going into structure :). Until then all I could think about was how embarrassing this killmail was going to be.

  3. I will say this, more than a year into this game i still haven't gotten a solo kill, and that includes two null wars. i guess i don't explode other things very well

    1. Not everyone is a solo pilot either, that isn't the end all be all. I've known many players who were excellent gang/fleet FCs or Logi, or bomber pilots, etc. Nothing wrong with that.

  4. can I see the drake fit. I want to see how a cruise drake is even possible.

  5. I'm still a newb. Recently got invited into a fun wormhole corp after making some connections exploring in low sec. Was new enough that the daily work of scanning down new signatures, scouting new wormhole systems, tagging along in my whimpy Caracal for anti-frigate duty in PvE fleets, flying the salvager after the op, and gas mining was all really fun. Chatting on voice comms,getting advice, good times.

    Recently one of my corpmates fell prey to a ganker in an asteroid belt who then camped our turf to hunt us. So we wardecced his corp. Some research revealed the corp to be full of two month old carebears and the ganker looking an awful lot like an experienced AWOXer. But, driven by the prospect of fresh killmails, the corp continued with the wardec anyway.

    I was nervously excited for my first wardec and the prospect of targets just as unskilled as me with me having the advantage of surprise. Good practice. I fit up a blaster Merlin with web and point in Jita and logged for the night. The next day, full of anticipation, I logged on and scanned local in Jita for wardec targets, and... paydirt! One of them was in local! One of the two month newbs. I informed my corpmates in voice chat. They were all preoccupied with something else and I got some non-committal grunts or something. Oh well, I undocked and picked a spot about 30 km above the main undock and waited.

    Waited about 5-10 minutes and - there he was! Solid red bracket, his name, in a Venture. I totally got this. I locked him and burned in on microwarp. At range, I tried to point him, but couldn't. Why can't I? Then I noticed I had the safety on - set to yellow. Well, I'll just turn that off, silly me...

    So I point him, web him and activate my neutron blasters and.... My ship explodes....

    Say what? "You have engaged in a criminal act.... blah, blah, blah" appears on the screen, and in a moment of panic I realize I'm probably red - right in front of Jita undock. I try to dock up, no good - I'm podded. I wake up in the newb system where my clone was located (thankfully it was updated), and ponder the loss of my Merlin and first full set of plus 3 implants.

    When I'd calmed down a bit, I reported what had happened to my corpmates and was met by a wave of guffaws.

    "Dude, you realize wardecs have a timer right? We can't shoot these guys for another 8 hours."

    "And anyway, Ventures have a built-in warp stab. You couldn't have pointed him anyway."

    "Hah, you tried that in front of Jita undock?"

    So, that was my first ever wardec, and I'm proud to say I fired the first shot of it. Yeah....


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