There are times, when I'm alone in space, that I let myself think about organization. That I wonder about being a cog in another man's machine. A soldier in a long line of soldiers marching to the beat of a different drummer. This is natural. The burden of leadership is a weighty one. In the end, not only do I often fly alone, but I often find myself alone. And the hours of darkness do tend to creep into your soul.
This time of year naturally tips towards melancholy. The mad rush of the Holidays are behind us. It gets dark early. The days are short. Everyone is back to work and school. Schedules are insane once again. It is often a dark time.
And a new year looms large ahead of us.
It is tempting to shuck it all, throw my hands up and walk away. I could easily become a cog again. I'm sure there are many that would welcome me into their machines. And I could disappear with them into the void. Just one more nameless name amongst the thousands. It would be easy.
But easy isn't for me. I still believe in the concept of Solo with Friends. This is the core principle for which Stay Frosty was born. And it remains the cornerstone of the entire Alliance, even the non-pirate bits. I didn't choose this path because it would be easy. In fact, I chose this path specifically because of how hard it would be.
It is easy to forget the day I warped from one station to another in Hevrice. Alone. With nothing but angry, rage monkeys surrounding me in local. That was an extremely hard choice. And here we are a year, eight months and ten days later with 220 pilots in the Corporation and close to 500 in the Alliance. That was not, by any measure, an easy journey.
I have never been here before. I've never once grown anything in Eve like this before. This is all entirely new territory. I know how to build. Do I know how to sustain? How to keep going? I don't know the answer. I do know that I don't have to do it alone. I have to rely on those around me, the leadership and the individual pilots. They have to want it too. They have to step up, take on challenges and want something as badly - or more so - than I do.
If we are going to be more than we are, that is how it happens. That is how it happens in the real world and that is how it happens in Eve.
I am not alone. I am a cog in no one's machine but my own. It might be the hard path, but that makes it more rewarding. I don't know what is going to happen next.
And that mystery is what excites me.