I've had a lot of time to think this week, there was one 24 hour stretch there when that was all I could do. As a result of this I've made an entire list of mental goals for the coming year(s). One of those pertains to Eveoganda and moving forward with this blog. So I thought I'd share that one with you today.
As of today I will no longer be sharing personal journal entries about real life here in these pages. While I always felt that my words here helped as a form of therapy, as a journal, and as a way of sharing one man's journey thru life (both in-game and out) it has become increasingly apparent to me that I've been rather naive. This week illuminated a section of the Eve community that actively and aggressively wants to do me personal harm. And while my natural inclination is to fight such bullying, I have to consider the effect such a fight has on my family. My wife. And my four boys. Not to mention my extended family. Because it isn't just me here. And while I can take it, it would be unfair of me to expose them to further potential troubles.
So moving forward Eveoganda will revert to tales revolving around Eve, the community, and pretty pictures of artwork. Those that care about such things have other ways of hearing about them, goodness knows we have Twitter, Slack, Discord, TS, and a hundred other ways to communicate. But it won't be here in these pages.
Before I go I would like to offer a piece of friendly advice. This comes from a 50 year old man so it may seem like "Dad" advice, and to a certain degree it is. I've lived a long and interesting life already and I'm struggling with my own issues. I've never claimed to be perfect. I've made thousands of mistakes. And I'm sure I'll make a thousand more. I've never hated anyone. I didn't hate the man that scammed me out of 25k, if anything I felt sorry for him. I didn't hate my former business partner who lost 85k and one of our largest accounts. I don't have time for hate. And, in so many ways, I don't understand it. So my advice is simple really. Try not to hate. Try to understand. Try to walk a mile in another person's shoes for once. This world of ours needs more empathy and more understanding. And considerably less hate. I strongly believe that like me, if you live your life with less hate, you'll feel better on that day when you turn 50. Despite all the hardships, I know I do.
I only started sharing because so many of you asked me to. It was never my intention. I sincerely apologize to those that feel put out, or burdened by my sharing. That was never my intention.
Back to Pew Pew.
PS: I've retroactively made this change as well, so most of the posts regarding real life issues have been removed.
I am saddened to learn that things have get as far as to impact your family. It's crazy.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, as my trade in EVE was completely different from yours, I think that you may be interested to hear this little story.
I've been PvEr forever in EVE, mostly because I can't react rationally to PvP. I'm the kind who goes berserk over space pixels, not because the space pixels, but because of the feelings behind losing those pixels; mostly impotence. Impotence is a feeling I have very serious troubles with, and so I try to avoid it, even when playing games. Because what we experience while we play is as real as what we experience when not playing.
And not everyone is ready to deal with that, and not everyone can tell whether he's ready or don't. Thus what happens ingame silently slips out of it through the cracks; someone feels bad about somehting in the game and turns it into a bad feeling outside of the game.
Such is human being. Doesn't matters what causes the feelings: they are always real.
I've earned some enemies even as a PvEr. And there's at least one person I hope I'll never meet in RL...
As sad as is, removing easy gateways to your family is the wisest to do. Because feelings are always the same no matter what caused them, and not everybody is ready to deal with them in a sensible or sane manner.
I wish 2017 will bring you the solution to your problems. You're a nice person and I hate it when bad things happen to nice people.
Thank you m8 and thanks for sharing. You are right of course, feelings and emotions are real no matter from where they stem. And this can be a very confusing and difficult process for many people. There is no shame in that. We are all different and we deal with things differently. Trouble usually arises when we expect others to react, or deal, or feel the same way we do. That is very often unreasonable.
DeleteRixx, if you started another blog with Real Life stuff in it, I'd subscribe and read it, for sure.
DeleteI have given that some thought, might be a project for the coming year.
DeleteI admire the stand that you have decided to take. It's always sad when people who should be beneath our notice force changes in the way we live our lives. Haters are gonna hate, and the bad part, we have to silently let them. If we try to defend our self, and ours, it just turns into wrestling with pigs - all you get is being covered with muddy shit and the pigs enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteSo, you and Omega stand tall, face the sun and the future with the hope and knowledge that the new year will be better, and that we will be here to support ya'll in everything you do. And, as Brian Smith said, if you start a Real Life blog, I'll subscribe to that too.
Fly Dangerously!
Thank you, always appreciated.
DeleteWith or without the personal posting - happy to keep returning. Through text and art - you add colour.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, squire - to you and your family.
Thank you and the same to you and yours.
DeleteRixx,
ReplyDelete45yo with a complex divorce on my back as well. I'm now happily married for more than 10 years, but the processes born from my divorce are still in justice.
Most people judge you when they start listening your story because most weren't there... most can't think how was live in our shoes.
I'm sorry to hear that these ignorant people got to your family. I'm certain you will overcome this.
Good luck man
Thanks. Every story is different, each life is unique. Best to you in your struggles as well.
DeleteOne of my few Sunday reads, the content is always interesting regardless of the subject. Never felt put out or annoyed that you had strayed from the game. If anything your troubles reminded me of how blessed my life is...
ReplyDeleteFly Safe as Always, and may 2017 bring you joy and peace.
Thanks, I always try to entertain first and foremost, and keep things interesting.
DeleteDeal with honour, so you can get a good night's sleep. Its a bit specific, but it covers a lot.
ReplyDeleteAs Brian posted above, I'd follow the RL stories - a readers gotta read. I'm invested in the story now
May the road rise up to meet your feet and 2017 be good to you and yours.
it's funny how standing on the square and show real emotions, can bring back so much hate and anger. People allways see life through personal lenses, and that brings to many conflicts. So yes, to have empathy and be less judgemental can bring a lot of peace in to the world. All the best for you and yours.
ReplyDeleteSad news, but necessary. I've enjoyed your blog for a couple of years now. Hearing the personal side of Rixx and the struggles you've had have sort of put my life in perspective. I've cheered you on (whether you know it or not) in the hopes that life will finally deal you that perfect pitch. You and I are "of an age" where we don't quite understand the "anonymous internet asshole".
ReplyDeleteI hope things get better for you, as always. I will miss the insights into the life of Bryan but I think it's right decision. More art and pew stories good! Just as long as you realize that there are people out here that support you as a person.
Farewell Bryan o7. Bring it on, Rixx!
Thanks for sharing. Haters gonna hate. Glad you are free and blogging and playing. Good luck on the job prospect.
ReplyDelete