Doing Something Truly Scary

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Over the last 12 years I've created a lot of Eve based art. Thousands of pieces, illustrations, memes, logos, website banners, videos and more. Thing is, all of that has been a hobby. A side thing that was intended to keep me busy, help our community, and explore things that I normally didn't get to explore in my regular business life. An expression of my passion for Eve certainly, but that was all it ever was. Or intended to be.

Along the way the "hobby" sometimes bumped into something more. The biggest example of that was the eight illustrated posters that CCP licensed to sell from 2015-2017. That was awesome. And I've worked with CCP on other projects as well over the years. But again, none of that was going to replace my real work. In the real world.

And then a seismic shift happened. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say that after an insane decade, a lot of tremendous hard work, a back-breaking number of near-misses and depressing horrors, not to mention a bunch of jobs/projects/clients that I was forced to take on to keep the engine running - I've suddenly found myself in a really good place. Which is funny, because it also happens to be horrible in a weird way.

Back in July of last year I left my last employer with a pocket full of change and an investor looking to help me jump start a new agency. I wasted about two months before I discovered the investor wanted control of the agency I would build. So I walked away from that "opportunity". At about the same time my divorce become a thing of the past. 14 years of Hell had finally ended. (Long story) And my Wife took a truly great new job. Since then I've been trying to get a new business off the ground while also looking for a new position. But my heart wasn't in either direction. I've loathed the idea of starting a new agency for years, I did that once already. And apparently all those jobs I was forced to take since I closed the agency have had a detrimental impact on my employment prospects. Chief Marketing Officer positions are few and far between and incredibly competitive. So, what to do with myself?

And then the pandemic hit.

Nothing makes you re-consider your path more than the thought of impending doom. 9/11 was the impetus I needed to start my previous agency back in 2001. So this pandemic, in many ways, has also served as it's own impetus to make me re-consider my career path. Maybe it was time to stop thinking about the things I love doing - as a hobby. And think about them as an actual career. After all, my original intention for my career was as an illustrator/designer. Before things went in a different direction. I find myself with a unique opportunity to re-start, re-focus, and move in an exciting new direction.

So that is what I'm going to do. I have no idea how to do that. I'm just going to start and see where things take me. I've been listening to a lot of advice from people I trust, watching a lot of videos, and reading a lot of articles. We are hard at work here at home rebuilding the studio and turning it into a more permanent place to work and create. That should take about a month or so. This transition won't happen quickly and it won't be an easy one, but I'm incredibly excited and scared to death about it - that must mean something.

The last time I was this scared and uncertain was when I took the leap and started a new business without any prospects. But I knew I had made the right decision because things just felt right, opportunities were created through hard work, and everything started falling into place. There is a momentum created from decision, an energy that you can feel in your bones. This feels like that.

The very week I finally made this decision things started happening. Now comes the hard work. And hopefully that will create even more opportunities. I have no idea what will happen next. Or where this road leads.

This is scary. And awesome.


  1. Rixx, don't you worry. As in the past you will overcome any challenges and will be succesful. Cheers, Krull

    1. Hey! I was just thinking about you the other day, hope you are doing well. Miss your comments.

    2. I'm still around, just busy in RL. Hope the family is safe and healthy. Krull

    3. Doing good, better than ever tbh.


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