I get yelled at a lot. The people in Stay Frosty get yelled at a lot. No one enjoys being suddenly and often violently removed from their spacecraft. Being yelled at is part of the job. It comes with the territory. And these reactions vary wildly from quiet acceptance, questioning alarm, and outright hostility. It all depends on the situation and the individual(s) involved. It is, after all, part of the game. Eve is setup to be that kind of game and growing to understand and accept that reality is a tough road for a lot of players. You either comes to grips with that reality or the game will chew you up.
One of the most challenging concepts to come to terms with is just how random most of the this actually is. When someone else's game play interacts with your own, the natural inclination is to try and place blame. But the harsh reality is this - shit happens. And very often our interactions are totally random. I'll give you an example that happened recently.
I came back from a solo roam and docked up in our station. I was trying to decide what ship to fly next and what activity I wanted to focus on. I brought a few ships into active mode and noticed that my Gnosis needed repairs, so I repaired it and decided to upgrade a module on the fit. It was an active module, so I undocked so I could see for myself what the changes would be. So I'm sitting there on the station when this Helios undocks. Totally random. Thing is though, I wouldn't me if I didn't shoot it. So I did and he exploded. In response to his question in local I told him I actually felt bad about it, but those are the breaks. He convo'd me shortly after and we had a nice talk about randomness. It was actually quite pleasant.
In that situation a quick control/space and dock would have saved his ship. This is the part of the story that doesn't get talked about very much. The other side of the coin. Even that Helios pilot admitted he probably should have waited to undock with me in local. It is entirely possible to actively mitigate a large percentage of your own danger. But ultimately you cannot account for random bad luck. It happens to everyone. It happens to me all the time. I've just grown to accept that there are certain things that cannot be accounted for - random gate camps, weird unexpected fits, or a ship that turns out to be bait for a hot-drop. Nothing I can do about those. At least, not if I want to continue being active.
Not everything that happens to you is because of malice or ill-intent. We're all just playing the game they way we enjoy playing the game. And I respect your choices. And while I know you might not always respect mine, especially when I have you scramed and you see all your hard work melting away with your armor tank - just remember that it is probably not personal.
Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes you undock and the Pirate Lord is outside with a dual sensor boosted Gnosis.